


Orange Blossom

by Merenwen76



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bottom Jared, Coming Out, First Time, J2 AU, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Rimming, Slow Build, Top Jensen, Voyeurism, a mean sea urchin, beach, holiday fic, light mention of homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2019-06-09 21:46:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 37,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15276855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merenwen76/pseuds/Merenwen76
Summary: Jared expects the heat, he expects the different culture, he expects to find himself, and expects some fun in the sun. He definitely does not expect to fall in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DarkSun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSun/gifts), [Winmance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winmance/gifts), [Jerzcaligrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerzcaligrl/gifts).



> Here we go. My very first fanfic. I’m really nervous. I read so many wonderful story’s but never thought that I will be brave enough to write my own. So please be gentle. 
> 
> English is not my native language. Any mistakes are mine and I’m sorry for it.
> 
> But thanks to my wonderful, awesome beta jerzcaligrl and her endless patience, I hope you will enjoy it.
> 
> This work won’t be here without the lovely DarkSun, who capture my heart ❤️ .  
> Thank you for introducing me to this amazing, fascinating fandom and for being my inspiration on every single day since then. love you to the moon and back !
> 
> And I like to thank you, winmance, for kicking my butt.

[](https://ibb.co/cedkQU)

Orange Blossom

Chapter 1

 

Airports all look the same. Grey and dusty buildings, poor nature, and the long roads of the landing fields.  
“Please remain seated while the plane..”  
The ultimate signal for the first traveler to jump out of his seat.  
A bag is suddenly shoved into Jared's face.  
“I`m sorry..” Jared's seatmate says.  
Yeah sure. Jared thinks to himself. Asshole.  
It’s not like they're going to leave this fucking plane any sooner. But now they are standing in the aisle, like cows waiting for the butcher.  
He smiles at the image.  
If Chad were here, they would be trying to feed the cows, making fun of them.  
Do not think of Chad, don’t break rule number one, idiot.  
Finally the doors open and the first cow gets off of the plane. When it’s his own turn, Jared stands up and takes his time to get his bag out of the luggage rack. The herd behind him lows and he feels like a freaking rebel against the system.  
With a smirk on his face and a satisfied feeling, he tells the stewardess goodbye and hits the hot sun of Thailand. He immediately starts to sweat.  
Why is he doing this, whom is he going to fool? It was Chad`s idea, all of this. This stupid vacation, they were planning for weeks. Planning every single day of this ten day trip in this fucking hot country.  
“It’s hot in Texas too, don’t need to travel around the world to get soaked.”  
“Dude you have to expand your horizons. There is so much more to see outside America.”  
“What about Brazil, it's hot too, and it has beaches and more importantly, it has rum.”  
“Dude, Where is your thirst for adventure?? Where is your inner ‘Indiana Jones’?”  
Rule number one Idiot. Keep it together, you know why you are here. You promised. Jared mumbles to himself. Climbing on the bus to get to the terminal, he starts to miss having someone beside him, to share his thoughts and his fear. Sure he could have asked Sandy, but he couldn’t face it. He was afraid to see the bitterness on her face, telling him to fuck off. But to be honest, he was more afraid that she might have said yes.  
While he was waiting on the baggage claim, his eyes search over his co-travelers. Mostly couples. Of course , there are always happy couples when your world is crashing down. Smiling at each other, holding hands, waiting for the first night in a strange room, far away from home, fucking each other senseless, like the world depends on it . His mouth feels sour. Ten days .

Of course Bangkok Airport is just like every other airport . Like an anthill, full of noises, rushing people, and advertising.  
Jared finds the exit, talks to different people. .` How to get to Pattaya?  
“Yes I know it’s a 2 hour drive! No , I don’t want a taxi, I’m pretty sure there has to be a bus.”  
Freakyholidaycat from Tripadvisor mentioned a bus line , so he keeps looking.  
He finally got on the bus 55 minutes later.  
Sweat is running down his back, but to equalize it the air-conditioning is blasting in his face, his bangs blowing up close to the ceiling. The blue curtains that are surrounding the windows seem to have been there for the last 15 years.  
He arrives at his hotel by 9 pm , tired and hungry.  
Jared buys a Snickers out of the vending machine and a cherry Coke . At least the can is ice cold . He puts the cool beverage against his head, lets it roll all over his face. The icy drops trailing down his collarbone, finding their way over his heated body. Jared sighs and makes his way to his room.  
The accommodations are not as bad as he expected . Thank you thayvisitor1977. He recommended this hotel as nice , close to the party, but also walking distance to the beach. Jared drops his bag on his bed. The room is appropriate. The two queen size beds stand against a white colored wallpaper, a huge fan over the headboard, with a landscape of pattaya. A rustic wardrobe sits to the left. And a mirror faces the other side. For the couples , Jared thinks bitterly, to make their “fucking for world peace” more enjoyable.  
The bathroom was tiny . He has to keep his head down in the shower and the water plays “guess what temperature you get” with him. He gets out of the shower, not bothering to wear anything. Because nobody will complain. He sits on the edge of his bed. A wooden ceiling fan rotates over his head.  
Jared eats his Snickers , naked, in Pattaya all by himself . Its 11 pm and Jared allows himself to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for the amazing Kayla Fitzgerald who created this wonderful book cover for my story. Thank you so much .


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

[](https://ibb.co/YbVHJQ8)

Pattaya is a resort city in Thailand. It is on the east coast of the gulf of Thailand, about 62 miles southeast of Bangkok. The name evolved from the march of Phraya Tak and his army from Ayuttaya to Chanthaburi, which took place before the fall of the former capital to Burmese invaders in 1767. It was a fishing village until the 1960's. Then, during the Vietnam War, American Servicemen stationed at nearby U-Tapeo or other US bases in Thailand began visiting Pattaya. The word spread among other American soldiers stationed in the region and Pattaya quickly became a hot alternative to Bangkok.  
Others will describe Pattaya as a modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah, with host bars, gogo bars, massage parlors, saunas and Asia’s largest gay scene.

By day, Jared sees none of it. 

By day, Pattaya is hot and dusty. The temperature hits 90 degrees with a humidity high above 70 percent, which turns out to be absolutely normal weather for May.  
When they planned this trip , of course, they knew about it. Getting here for the summer break, after finishing high school, having the time of their life’s with sand, beach and beer -before leaving for college or whatever.  
Yeah Jared, for whatever, his mind never stops thinking, what do you want Jared, why are you here, what are you fucking trying to find here?  
He puts his Hilfiger swim shorts on and just a white v-neck t-shirt. Some black flip flops and his Ray Bans complete the look.  
Maybe this place looks better with coffee in his veins, Jared thinks, so he plans to walk around, try to get a feeling for this place, and start his first day.  
While wandering the streets, he tries to get a feel for the City. Smell the smells, which are a mixture of gas from the motorcycles, garbage, and the salty smell of the sea. He sighs deeply. Yeah. He definitely needs to see the ocean, but coffee first.  
As this is his first trip ever outside the states, he is going to act like every other curious, open-minded tourist, …….he'll find a Starbucks.  
The Central festival Pattaya beach is a huge indoor mall, with several shops, grocery, and a beautiful large Starbucks within walking distance to the beach. Jared crosses the outside of the shop to get inside. He immediately relaxes due to the air conditioning and the familiar surroundings. The place is crowded and the four girls behind the counter are trying their best to keep up with the customers orders.  
If you ever find it hard to place your order at home, it's nothing compared to now. Trying this in a coffee shop in Pattaya with a sweet and young looking girl with a big smile and almond eyes asking what he wants.  
He really tries with all his patience to place his order, Iced Americano, for Jared, yes with a J , no not Tim Jared, please, it’s not that complicated.

As he waits for his order he concentrates on his plans for the day. Originally, they wanted to rent a bike, getting a little outside the town, relax on the beach, prepare for the night, …well, that was the plan.  
A cup is placed in front of him.  
With his name on it but that’s not his , this is … pink, it's creamy, and it has fucking pink sprinkles on it.  
Is this a signal? Is this his punishment?  
“Sorry that’s not my order, that´s… ”  
“Orange Blossom Strawberry Cream”.  
“Yeah, ok, maybe. But I didn`t..”  
“For Jaid”  
“No its Jared and I ..”  
Two more names were shouted out and more orders were being placed.  
He should get angry, should ask for the manager. Well that’s what his Dad would do, he certainly would get loud and insist on his right order. Problem is, Jared is not like his Dad, not even close, so he finds himself back on the large outdoor summer area, a cup in his hand filled with a creamy concoction of white cream and pink sprinkles.  
And for the worst of it is, it really does taste great! It was sweet with a smooth texture and the pink sprinkles turn out to be frozen strawberry pieces.  
He takes the spoon and digs into the drink, loading pink sprinkles on it and licking the white sugary cream slowly from the spoon. He's really enjoying this taste explosion on his tongue.  
“Isn't it a bit too early for this kind of fun?” Jared hears from behind him. Jared looks over and is met with two sharp green eyes watching him.  
“Huh?”  
“There’s cream on your lips!” Green Eyes says and two lips worth every sin in this world are speaking to him.  
“Huh?” Good Jesus, Jared thinks to himself Please say something, just say it!  
“Ok sorry never mind,” Green Eyes says, ready to walk away. There are freckles on his nose.  
“It's an orange blossom strawberry Cream” Damit Jared something intelligent  
“ Well, sounds great.“ Green Eyes responds. “I’m more for coffee, but hey, have a nice day, orange blossom”  
“Huh?” Jaaaareeed!!!  
The man who owns those stunning eyes snickers and turns to enter the Starbucks.  
Jared watches him head to the counter to place his own order.  
So many thoughts are rushing now through his brain. Intelligent, funny, maybe even flirty. Should he stay, wait for the stranger, gosh do something Jared, don’t just stand there like a complete idiot!  
Jared gets his phone out and tries to look busy, just noticing that he hasn't turned it on since he landed.  
Switching it on, he waits for a signal, as the stranger comes back with a large cup of coffee ( of course he gets the right order) in his hand.

Jared stretches his back, stands up straight, forces a smile, and tries everything to look cool.  
“So, you're from the States?” well at least this is a sentence.  
“ Austin, Texas, “ the gorgeous man drawls.  
“No way! I'm from San Antonio, Dude that’s awesome!” And there goes his coolness.  
“What're you doing here Orange Blossom ?” Gorgeous asks.  
Jared can feel the blush on his cheeks.  
“It's Jared, I’m here for holiday, you know , sand, beach..”  
“Beer n Chicks , totally get it, best way to celebrate the summer break.”  
“Yeah definitely. And you?”  
“I've lived here for 3 years,” Green Eyes states.  
Why on earth would you live here ? Jared thinks. .  
“ Wasn’t planned at first. Long story short, I fell in love, ”  
With shock on his face, Jared registered that he asked his question aloud. . Fuck!  
“Oh that’s great to hear, ” he stutters. “Well then, ok so, have a great day. “  
Jared just wants to leave, oh God, this is getting so embarrassing. He turns around with a last look at those green, sparkling eyes (are they sad?), no, that’s just stupid Jared, come on get yourself together.  
Jared finishes his drink and heads to the beach.  
Now this is definitely more what he calls a holiday. The beach is not very big , but a good size. He takes his flip flops in his hands and wades into the water.  
He walks for half an hour just in the sand, the water circling his feet. He feels so free as he breathes in, deep and relaxed. The sun is burning on his neck and he will definitely have a sunburn, but right know he doesn't care.  
Just right now, he wants to care of no one , not his parents, not Sandy, not Chad, and definitely not a stranger from Austin, Texas.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Moose...hope you’re doing well.

Chan Samarth ha bar dithi hin.

[](https://ibb.co/5MLBbTm)

Six simple words. 

Jared looks up from his phone.  
After his walk, he just settles down in the sand. Just beneath a palm that gives shade so he can enjoy the endless sound of the ocean. He hears kids yelling and chasing each other, their mums laying down in the sand chatting in a language he doesn’t understand. There is food in the middle of them, wrapped up in Aluminium foil. Hands digging down, grabbing food , there is no need for a fork or a spoon. He smiles to himself when he sees them so happy together. There is no difference whether you are in San Antonio, in Rio, in Paris, or in a beach at Pattaya , bring food to a table and you have a party filled with joy and fun.  
While focusing back on the waves reaching the sand, just to rush back into the ocean, Jared remember the first warm day this year back home. They went outside after school. He and Sandy, Chad, Michael, Jess, and Steve. Sitting themselves down on the grass, they open their Cokes, searching for anything edible in their bags, and sharing it among themselves. Sandy rests her head on Jared's lap. He wraps one arm around her waist, lovingly strokes her hair with the other one . Her eyes are closed and when she opens them, he sees the love sparkling in them. He places a kiss on her nose . As he remembers the light hearted feelings , he enjoys the day, laughs loud and deep. Chad was still trying to convince Michael that a McRib is the best invention ever made.  
“Screw the meet patty , it’s the sauce buddy, the sauce, fuck I'll dive right into it“. Chad states emphatically.

It was a picture perfect moment, Jared reflects, while running his fingers through the sand. It could have stayed perfect, everything was planned , everything was good, …but Jared wasn’t. There was this stupid voice in his head . That voice that wanted more.  
Jared’s eyes start to water and he grabs some sand , just to watch it slip between his large fingers. He misses Sandy and her tiny sweet nose , the way she crinkled it when she laughed. He misses her smile, how her face lit up und her cheeks would turn pink. The blue of her eyes, the desire and the fire in them when they were making love. He missed their conversations in his bed looking up to the ceiling, hands entangled, dreaming about their future. Her courage and how she trusted in him, how she forced him to believe in himself.

She never did anything wrong, just was herself.  
She was everything, but she never was enough. 

“Chan Samarth ha bar dithi hin”  
“Where do I find this gay-bar ?”


	4. Chapter 4

Back at the hotel , Jared prepares for his night. He texted his mom and sent his sister a few pictures. Megan replies with a stupid face and a jealous emoji. He loves the relationship they both have . He is proud to be the big brother, to be the person she looks up to , and God bless, she still comes to him when she has a problem. He was worried when she grew up and hit puberty that he maybe became too old and too uncool for her, but nothing changed. They are still close and they can talk about everything. Well nearly everything, Jared sighs, and steps into the shower. He learned from yesterday, so he wasn’t too shocked when the temperature of the water suddenly changes. He enjoys the colder spray running down his body. Of course his neck was red from the sun, and the water seems even cooler when it hits the sunburn. He exhales deeply and feels his muscles relax. He feels his nervousness coming back.  
In his mind he has pictured this day a million times, going out in this anonymous city . Nobody knows him, nobody will judge him. Just go out and blend into this world. He wants to flirt with a boy, wants to know how his body will react. Just find someone to meet his needs , no talking, no exchange of personal information, just plain, pure lust. That was Jared’s plan until he stepped out of that stupid coffee shop with this stupid drink and got lost in those ridiculous, stupid green eyes.  
And just like that, suddenly this guy was back in his head. Tall , kissed from the sun, and those gorgeous lips. Jared feels his dick harden by just the thought of this man. How it must feel to kiss those soft lips, how it must feel to run his hands over this fascinating body. He thunks his head against the tiles of the shower stall, his breath becomes short and he feels his arousal take over him. He starts to stroke his rock hard member while still thinking about the beautiful man . How it would feel to touch his dick, to jerk him while kissing him forcefully. How it would feel to lick the soft tip of his dick, to suck him down as deep as possible while those wonderful eyes watch him, growing dark with lust. Jared stroke himself faster. He closes his eyes, biting his lips and feels as his lower body begins to twitch uncontrollably as he climaxes and shoots against the tiles. He groans loudly, worn out, but so relaxed now. The water is still running over his heated body , washing away all evidence. When his breath becomes normal, he steps out of the shower and drys himself . The mirror reflects his face, his cheeks still red and his pupils still wide. With the picture of this perfect stranger still on his mind, he finally gets dressed and steps out to the night. 

Being tall means you are always going to be recognized. He was used to it. Being tall , sunburned, and an American in Pattaya means you glow like a light tower on an island. Boyztown by night is a walking street, filled with restaurants, bars and clubs crowded with mostly male visitors. There are pretty young Thai Boys hanging on the street, waiting for not so young and mostly not so pretty men, to exchange money for the pleasure of their company.  
From the moment he arrived at the street, Jared's feelings began overwhelming him . He is excited to see all the faceless people, like no one cares that you “know why I’m here”. Music is roaring from the clubs . He can feel his anxiety rising with every view he earns from people he passes by . He chose a dark pair of jeans, pretty tight, fitting his ass perfectly. The black v-neck t-shirt suits him perfectly. He noticed a few guys checking him out, and he feels his cheeks start to burn. His view travels down the street . He definitely needs something to drink. In Texas, he would need a fake ID to get something stronger than a Dr. Pepper, but here it seems that this will be the least of his problems. He pauses for a moment to decide which direction to go.  
Back home, when he started his very own personal research, there were different bars and clubs recommended. Two of them were mostly visited by European folk and one of them was even operated by an American gay couple.  
So he decided to choose the hopefully safer ground and head for the “Boyscout” Club.  
No one wants to see his ID, but again he feels the eyes on him when he enters the club.  
It turns out to be more a mixture of a bar and club. On the ground floor, the center of the area is a large bar, surrounded with stools and flat screens showing various sports and .. well .. other kind of activities. The windows are wide open, crowded tables leaking into the large outdoor area. There was a stage in the back of the room with rows of chairs in front of it. For the adult shows, as the advertising pronounced . There will be a drag queen show and “High Class Gay” entertainment , whatever that means. He walks to the bar and ask for a beer. With the bottle in his hand he finally breathes for the first time since he left his hotel room. Now here he is, what was playing in his mind for weeks suddenly becoming reality, but it feels so different than he had expected . He looks around, watching some couples standing very close to each other. Of course he has seen two men kissing each other, but that was secretly, back at home, on his laptop. To see all those couples for real, in front of him, acting _so _natural, he gets a bit emotional. It feels _so _right and Jared finds himself excited and happy, like he wants to scream or giggle now that he is a part of it.____

_______The music from the basement makes him curious and he encouraged himself to take the stairs to find the heart of the club. The dancing area is not as big as he thought, but pretty crowded. It’s hot and dark in here. On the left there are alcoves with a few seats to chill out. The dance floor is placed in the middle, raised a little bit higher off the ground. You can walk around the area to find a small bar. On the right side behind the bar there seems to be a way to reach another smaller dance floor but as it looks pretty dark there, Jared refuses to leave his current position. He feels the music deep down in his veins. New Order – Blue Monday , the beat goes straight to his stomach and a little bit deeper too._  
For the first time since arriving, he forces himself to really look at his surroundings and to check out the other guests. Will he find someone here? Someone who can answer the question he has never dared to ask. The question this voice keeps yelling at him since he ..  
Jared nearly drops his beer.  
There are more than 54 Clubs and Bars in Pattaya, that would be recommended as gay friendly. 25 in Boyztown. 12 named by visitors from the states, and in the one club he chooses to drink his beer, to answer the non-speakable question , green eyes are pinning him from the other side of the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs in this chapter :  
> New order Blue Monday  
> Depeche Mode Master n Servant


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the nice comments and kudos. It really keeps me motivated. As a reader I always try to leave kudos or comments to a story , as my way to say thank you. As a writer I can say , it feels incredible! 
> 
> So , you think it’s time to look at this story from another POV?

[](https://ibb.co/RSkkHZ1)

His alarm went off at 9.

Jensen swings himself out of his bed and looks at his phone. He checks his messages, the news, and turns on his wake-up music. Edgewater is playing while he hits the shower. He’s singing in the shower and still doing so while toweling himself dry. After that, he checks out his wardrobe, it's going to be a beautiful sunny day and he wants to be sure to look stunning. He puts on some Bermuda, a white cotton shirt, and his new favorite Adidas Goodyear sneakers.

He spends some more time in the bathroom, checking his reflection, fixing his hair and brushing his teeth .

Of course there was no coffee left in the machine, but there is a handwritten note saying

_“Sorry darling, you know he gets pissed without coffee, please don’t forget the limes. JD”_

_Yeah sure_ Jensen snorts, _it’s not like he becomes Gandhi without the brown elixir. ___

__Jensen tossed the note in the trash, opens the fridge and drinks some orange juice right out of the container. He smiles at the thought that Nick would explode if he knew. Two scrambled eggs on toast later, he decided that he _definitely_ still needs coffee._ _

__In Texas, a Vespa would be the talk of the town, but here in Pattaya it was one of the most efficient ways of travel . And it was pure fun. The sun in May was getting stronger, but nothing in compare to July when the humidity really kills you._ _

__Maybe some would call Pattaya ugly and rotten but for him, this town is freedom. He know he is a foreigner and he will never make the mistake and call it home. But he feels relaxed when he walks down the streets, enjoys the beach and the boys who keep checking him out. He enjoys their eyes on his body. They see his broad shoulders, strong muscular arms, and that tight ass that brings them to their knees. (Hopefully, he smirks to himself!) He knows the girls do as well but they are just not his cup of tea. He likes women, he has a few female friends and he always treats them with respect, but when it comes to sex, he definitely prefers a dick._ _

__He stops near the mall, parks the Vespa , grabs his shopping list and goes down the street towards the mall. He checks the list twice, he knows what they need for a normal day at the bar, but he just wants to make sure, because under no circumstances does he want to disappoint JD. Words can’t describe what JD means to him. What he owes him for giving him this chance, for trusting him and sharing his home with him. Life could be so much worse._ _

__He`s humming Josh Abbott while make a turn to the terraces of his favorite coffee supplier on the planet, when his eyes catch a young, somewhat gawky-looking boy. Tall and –Jesus- beautiful. His sloppy hair is damp from the heat and he looks so completely lost. Jensen stops for a moment to just look at him.  
He should just walk by, but it’s not happen so often, that a not-Asian, but hot as hell looking (and hopefully single guy), crosses his way. So he tries to get his attention, plays with him a bit and is completely amused about his cuteness. But unfortunately it seems he frightens the hell out this boy, so he steps into the shop, greets Linda with a big smile and waits for his coffee. He looks out of the window . Orange Blossom is still there , works on his phone. Jensen’s dick definitely agrees with him that this smile and these cute dimples just hit him deeply. These large palms would definitely fit perfect around his dick and this sexy ass screams to be taken care of. _ _

__As he starts to leave, orange blossom boy is still there, so he tries a second attempt. The cutie; Jared?- turns out to be a Texan boy too. But again, it seems like he could not get away from Jensen asap. Was he too obviously flirting with him? Jensen smiles to himself , of course this chick is straight as hell and now, for sure, runs back to his girl and crying in her lap that a guy tries to get in his pants. Jensen smiles to himself, sips his coffee and heads to the grocery inside the mall. He has a list to work down._ _

__Boyscout is JDs Dream. He runs this place for 10 years now. There is no other place in the world JD wants to be. When Jensen enters the bar it's still closed but the bartenders already preparing the fruit sticks for the cocktails and the crushed ice is completely filled to cool down the bottled bears and mixed drinks. He found JD tapping the beer barrel swearing over the keg and Jensen takes the opportunity to toss an ice cube into JD s back._ _

__“Do it again and you can look for another place to sleep tonight” JD mumbled and comes up to stand in front of Jensen._ _

__“Got your Limes , thanks for the coffee , and love you too” Jensen chirps with a cocky smile on his face._ _

__“What gets you in such a good mood sleeping beauty?” JD ask._ _

__“Nothing but one of the cutest, sexy ass I saw for weeks”, Jensen tells as he puts the Limes into the fridge under the bar._ _

__“ So, then where is Mr Sexy Ass now? “ JD helps him with the rest of the purchases still looking curios._ _

__“Naa you know, in the end, I only have eyes for your sexy old ass”. Jensen challenges him with a big fat smile_ _

__JD rolls his eyes and gets closer to Jensen. He whispered “Don’t do this ,seriously, he's talking to me since two days now and I really, really don’t want to have more drama right now”_ _

__“So he's still pissed that you didn’t let him sing Beyonce.?”_ _

__JD exhale loudly. “I just mention for _one_ time, that maybe he is a little too old for Beyonce and that the audience loved him for Whitney, but you know him..” JD waves his hands in the air._ _

__“Yeah and I heard him, couldn't sleep for hours, was to worried about your life “ Jensen chuckles._ _

__JD and Nick where the most passionate , dramatic couple Jensen ever met. They run the bar for 5 years now as a Team, and get married two years ago on a private island close to pattaya. The love and hate each other , just to love each other again.. and noisy… due to Jensen’s poor ears. But he owned and respect them both deeply. They offered him this room in their house, when he was lost, broke and completely without any hope in his future. He works his ass of for them since that day and didn't look back to his old life._ _

__When the night comes, Jensen rolls his sleeves up and does his best to keep the crowd entertained. He checks for the bartenders, cleans the tables , and brings the clean glasses from the dishwasher to the bar. He loves the hot n sticky atmosphere of the club. The music roars out of the speakers. The dance floor is crowded and the boys moving their bodies to the rhythm. He enjoys the view, getting a little arouse just by watching them, dancing, flirting , rubbing their heated bodies close together. He was on his way to Marc to get his wishlist of supplies , when he spotted him._ _

__Can it be true? Is this really happening? He couldn’t believe his eyes but yes, on the other side of the room, with a bottle in his hand leans this beautiful -obviously not so straight as though- handsomeness at his bar. Jensen’s mouth waters at the look of his outfit, the floppy hair and this beautiful shy eyes. He just decide to move over, when the chestnut spotted him. Jensen couldn’t resist just to stare back a playful smile on his face and a warm feeling in is stomach._ _

__He pulls himself together and walks through the crowd never let this hazel eyes out of his side._ _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again, for the sweet feedback. I’m so excited and I’m so glad that you love this story. So chapter sex , I mean six is coming up and I really hope you are going to enjoy this. If so, please let me know . Wish y’all a wonderful weekend.

Chapter 6

 

Jared completely forgets how his body works, breathing is not possible, he freezes, not able to move an inch. He focuses on the guy walking straight up to him. His heart is pounding loud and fast and his mouth goes dry.

When Jensen finally stops, he's right in front of Jared. Leaning into Jared’s personal space, bringing his mouth to Jared's ear.

“Can’t say I didn't wish to see you again, but I definitely _did not_ expect it to be here, ” Jensen whispers.

He was close, too close, and Jared could feel the heat between them. Cursing at himself for choosing his tightest jeans, he feels his dick asking for more space. While irritated at his own body's betrayal, he still wants to completely surrender to this stranger.

Jensen nods to the bartender, who gets them two fresh beers. He hands one to Jared and they raise their bottles, clinking them together. Jensen takes a deep sip and Jared can’t stop watching how Jensen’s Adam's apple moves with every gulp.

Jensen leans forward, enveloping Jared in his addictive heady scent.

“It`s Jensen by the way” he whispers into Jared’s ear, inhaling deeply to smell Jared’s perfume and his own oh so addictive scent. He brushes his nose into Jared’s neck and nuzzles into Jared's soft, silky hair.

Jared's eyes close. He can’t remember _ever_ being this aroused. He is standing in the middle of this foreign club , Depeche Mode is blasting through the speakers and all he can think of is to getting a taste of those wonderful lips. His pupils are dark, filled with lust, and he doesn't care what Jensen might think of him. His body reacts like a wild cat, suddenly freed from its cage and running on pure instinct. He brings his lips close to Jensen’s neck, breathes against his skin, and move his lips to his ear. Jared breathes into Jensen’s earlobe , heavy, as if he had just finished a marathon.

Jensen sees the lust sparkling in those shy eyes, loves how Jared’s cheeks blush and turn pink. It’s like the whole body of this young man is yearning for him, and only Jensen can satisfy him. When he feels Jared’s lips on his neck and his ear, he takes the bottle out of Jared’s hand and places them both back on the table. _Damn_ this boy is killing him and he immediately wants to close the distance between them like a moth drawn to the light.

Jared feels his arousal growing, his dick gives a hopeful twitch, his hands searching for Jensen’s waist and while one hand moves over Jensen’s firm chest the other goes around to rest on his fucking tight ass.

Jensen had imagined a few ways this might have played out while walking over to Jared, but this hunger burning in Jared’s eyes was beyond any of his fantasies.

 

You’re not much of a talker, are you ?”

Again Jensen is close to Jared’s ear while whispering the words to him. He steps back, softly cupping Jared’s chin and pulling him down to make him look at Jensen again. Those mesmerizing eyes find Jensen’s and there is nothing more to say as Jared's dark pupils speak for themselves. Jensen places his hand over Jared’s, still resting on his chest, never breaking contact with those eyes. 

“Come with me. ” Jensen breathes softly.

Jared just nods and follows Jensen, still holding his hand, as they walk back from the main stage, through the crowd, and into the darker area of the club.  
A thick, heavy curtain blocks the view of whatever lies beyond. Jared notices that it's almost completely dark in this area. He can still hear the music and feel the bass, but he also hears voices , a soft groan close to him, and he knows immediately what is happening here. And he wants to be a part of it. He wants it so desperately. He feels his dick harden even more and he starts sweating .

For a moment Jared is afraid that Jensen is really just going with him to the other side of the club, when Jensen suddenly stops, turns himself around, and presses Jared’s body to the wall. Jared gets lost in his emotions, he can hardly see anything, “Master ‘n Servant” still hits his ears , the cold bass of the song increasing his thrill. He feels everything so intensely. The wall feels cold and smooth against his back and he is pretty sure that he never would walk in here if he could see it by daylight. But _right_ know, he just doesn't give a damn. He is too lost in his own ecstasy. His arms are hanging by his sides, not knowing what to do with them, his hips moving slightly forward. He spreads his legs and Jensen gets the invitation to step between them, closing the distance between them that much more. As their hips align, he feels Jensen’s dick, hard and heavy alongside his own.

Jensen runs his fingertips from Jared’s hands up over his arms, then caresses his neck with one hand and slides the fingers of the other hand over Jared's heaving chest. Jared's breath catches . With the music so loud Jared doesn't hold back as he lets out a groan as Jensen fingers start playing with his nipples through the fabric of his shirt. Jensen’s hands move down over his shirt, his lips searching for that spot on Jared's neck again. He places little bites down Jared’s sensitive skin and moves his teeth slowly down to Jared’s collarbone.

When Jensen's hands reach Jared’s waist, he lets his index fingers slide just along the waistband of Jared's jeans. Brushing his lips against the side of Jared's neck, he licks his way up until his lips find Jared’s ear again.

“Feel good ?” Jensen whispers. He sucks at Jared’s earlobe, his hands moving down to grab Jared’s ass and pull him closer. He lets their hips roll together without mercy as he keeps the pressure firm on Jared’s hard cock. He can feel Jared’s length twitching through his jeans. Jensen is addicted to the sweet sounds coming from Jared’s lips.

“Make you feel even better,” Jensen exhales.

Jensen's fingers dance on Jared’s naked stomach. He pulls at Jared's shirt and pushes it up as if to remove it completely.

Jared feels the cool air suddenly on his upper body. His nipples are exposed and tighten to sharp points. Before Jared can think about it further, he feel Jensen hands on them again, rolling them between his fingers, pinching them mercilessly. There is no holding back any longer. Jared’s body is shaking from the pure passion and he moans loudly, closing his eyes, and throws his head back to the wall.

“God you’re so responsive,” Jensen keeps talking in Jared’s ear “Mmh ..all of this …just for me, ..love to see how your body is begging. Come on ‘Orange Blossom’ , ….scream for me.” And with that Jensen moves his lips to one of Jared’s already used and over-sensitive nipple . He sucks and licks at it while his thumb keeps playing with the other one.

And Jared is done. His dick is throbbing between his legs, rock hard and screaming for attention. His back arches, his head tilts back and his lips part. His hips keep thrusting, as he grinds his hard cock against the denim of the other man's groin. Throughout, Jensen never stops torturing his nipples. God it feels so good, so perfect, a deep moan is tearing from Jared's throat. 

Jensen's mouth closes over the other nipple and he hears him moaning, feeling the vibration from Jensen's mouth. Jared screams out as his stomach twitches and the first jet of come shoots in his pants. Jensen feels Jared climax and it _really_ turns him on. He keep his hips moving, riding Jared through his orgasm until he feels the body of his lover going limp. Jensen just wraps his arms around him. Taking care of him, his hands moving over Jared’s back, and he places his mouth back at Jared’s ear.

“Seems like we both could use a drink now, “ He smiles.

“ Wh .. What about you?” Jared still feels kind of dizzy , he still can’t believe that he had sex , right now at a public place , and that it was by far the best orgasm he ever had.

“Don’t worry Honey , watching you was pretty amazing.” Jensen chuckles. “And as I’m still working, it would feel pretty uncomfortable running around in jeans covered in dry come.”

Jensen takes Jared’s hand again to guide him out of the darkness and back into the bar.

Many of his “hookups” normally end right here. Maybe a kiss on the cheek, never on the lips, then goodbye and take care. But not this time. Jensen doesn't know why, but he just doesn't want to let this boy go. So, he still has hold of Jared's hand when they wind up at the bar. Their old beers were removed but Jensen calls out to the bartender for two more. Jensen looks into Jared’s eyes. Jared blushes as Jensen looks at the boy. Could he look any more shy and innocent?

Jared smiles nervously, but also doesn't let go of Jensen’s hand. It was like a bond they just don’t want to cut as both fear what would happen when they eventually separate.

“ I think I should go to the restroom” Jared finally admits. And those where the magic words. Jensen let Jared’s hand go and points him in the right direction. Jared looks again into those green eyes and excuses himself. His is still unsteady on his legs but finally manages to enter the restroom. One stall was free, the other obviously occupied.

He pees and try to clean up as much as possible. When he steps out of the stall, the couple in the adjoining cubicle seem to increase their speed. He washes his hands and looks into the mirror for the second time this day. His cheeks were still red, his hair has been mussed up and his lips are pink and a little swollen from chewing on them. And this time, the reason wasn't Jared had taken care of himself, this time he still feels Jensen`s hands on his body. 

The couple climax, loud and obscene, and Jared is about to raise a brow when he frowns suddenly. It hits him like a freight train, that boy inside this filthy bathroom stall, this desperate chick, that was him, just minutes ago.

And just like that Jared panics and his stomach turns. He sweats and the walls of the room seem to come closer and closer. And suddenly all he wants was to get out. He needs air because he can't breathe. He steps out of the restroom, facing the stairs that lead to the exit , to the street, to the oxygen his lungs were missing.

He doesn’t see Jensen, who is watching him leaving in disbelief and - just for a moment- looks completely hurt. Jared just runs and never looks back.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Real life problems, real life work, real life whatever  
> Next chapter will be longer, i promise!

Chapter 7

The sun is lighting up the room. At first, single sun rays penetrate through the window and crawled up his bed. Jared feels the heat where the sun touches his naked skin. The ceiling fan rotates over his head. Last night, when he was getting back to his room, he just tossed his shoes in the corner, his dirty jeans and underwear followed. His shirt was next an hour later when he still couldn’t find sleep. He spent two more hours tossing himself from one side of the bed to the other. His mind wouldn't give him any peace. So he finally gave up. He grabbed his phone to check on the time.

6.14 –

So much for a holiday. He tries to find some distraction while in the shower, but still his thoughts stuck around last night.

The worse thing was, he _really_ didn’t understand what he was feeling. . Didn’t he exactly get what he was looking for?

He feels restless, so he just puts on some fresh clothes and his flip flops, gets the room key, and heads to the beach.

After just two days he is starting to feel comfortable with his surroundings. He recognizes the way to go and the buildings he has to pass to access the beach. Early in the morning the area is nearly empty, a few boats are dancing on the waves and here and there a jogger is passing him by.

He takes his shoes in his hand and starts to run himself. It feels like a fire burning in him and he can’t make his body stop, tears are shimmering in his eyes and he wants to scream. He wants to let all of his emotions run through his body. He feels shy and guilty, relieved and edgy. He runs faster and faster till his muscles burn from the depth of the sand. He stops and breathes heavy, his heart pounding. Jared bends his upper body and braces his arms on his thighs.

He was asking, and now he got his answer.

Did he like what has happening yesterday -hell _yes_ he loved it.

Did he want it – _yes fucking_   _yes_ and he wants to have it again.

He _wants_ to feel it again, to _come_  again.

It was exactly what he wanted. He wants a strong, manly chest, he wants to hear a deep voice talking dirty to him. Shit, he wants to feel a hard dick in his hands.

Yes, he _wants_ a man.

So what is his fucking problem?

And he knew the answer. He knew it.

He comes up to stretch his body and place his hands behind his head. He looks out at the ocean and laughs at himself. Problem is, he just doesn't want _any man_. He wants the man who turned him on like no one else before in his life. He wants Jensen. “Fuck!”

Jared stays two hours at the terrace of the coffee shop hoping for Jensen to show up. He knows he screwed up yesterday. He shouldn't have left. He should have stayed there, enjoying his time with Jensen. Jared wants to explain to Jensen what made him run away. But will he even listen? What if Jensen never plans to get to know him? What if all of this was just what it seemed like, just a quick release of steam in a dark corner of a club.

But then Jensen was so soft afterwards. The way he was holding him, the way he looked at Jared as they walked back.

After another hour Jared left and walked back to his hotel. The lack of sleep and the hot weather makes him tired , so he laid down to take a nap.

When he woke up he took a quick shower. And he knew he had to make a decision.

He can face the fact that he is a coward and go on with his original plan. Have some holiday, be a freaking tourist, and try to find some fun in someone else’s arms. Or he can go back to the bar, excuse himself, make Jensen listen, and get to know him.  
He took a coin in his hand

_Head - Jensen_  
_Tails - Tourist_

He tosses the coin and watches it spinning around before it falls to the ground _._

The funny thing is, when you flip a coin there is this millisecond where you know exactly what you wish for and how you want the coin to land.

And when Jared steps out of the room, he never looked at the coin to confirm on which side it finally landed..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think , that the story need more tags, or „better“ tags?  
> I’m insecure about it. If you miss something pls let me know, comment or tweet me (Merenwen76)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter , finally ready !  
> Sorry for the late update but my I’m facing some private issues at the Moment. So I’m happy to focus on something else.  
> And now I really hope you like this update, cause i enjoy writing it.

Chapter 8

In the afternoon, Boyztown is not quite as attractive as it is by night.

Some tourists sitting outside drinking and chatting, but it is not really crowded.

When Jared enters the bar he left a few hours ago, it seems like a completely different place.

The long counter is occupied by only three guests, the chairs outside are nearly empty, and there is a red thick cord to prevent people from going downstairs. Jared is nervous and not for the first time he thinks about turning around and leaving. But in the end, he takes all his courage and walks up to the bar.

He doesn't recognize the bartender from yesterday evening so he hopes that at least the guy knows Jensen.

When he got the attention of the older man he tries to look as calm as possible .

“Hi, is Jensen here?” he ask cool and smooth.

“And you are?” the bartender wants to know, while checking him out with no bit of shame.

“I`m Jared. We .. ehm ..i met him yesterday , and I .. well was just wondering if he is coming to work today?”

Jared really tries to stay calm and is proud of himself for being this relaxed.

“Yes he does, but his shift will start in an hour, so..”

“That's ok , I'll just wait for him. Can I get a coffee please?”

And with that, Jared’s walks away to one of the tables outside and takes a seat. His heart is beating too fast and his palms are wet. So, Jensen will show up and then they can talk, and then …well, he didn’t really think so far beyond this point.

When JD bring the coffee out to the young man, he's trying really hard to keep a straight face He moves to the back of the bar, through the heavy door that lead to the large kitchen, and there he finds who he was looking for.

Jensen still sits in the corner , checking his phone and nibbling on his fries, exactly where JD left him half an hour ago. He knew that something happened last night. Jensen had been silent the whole day. But JD knew Jensen would never talk to him about it. When Jensen was tense or sad, he hid his feelings deep down, but JD had known this boy long enough to know something was up.

“So, you wanna tell me about what happened last night?”

JD took the chair on the opposite of Jensen with a big fat smile on his face.

Jensen didn’t look up, just shrugged his shoulder “Nothing special.”

When JD didn't respond but continued looking at him, Jensen finally looked up.

“Is there a reason you're grinning like a stupid Cheshire Cat?” Jensen snaps , anger flashing in his eyes.

JD seems to really be enjoying this part.

“I don’t know, maybe because “nothing special” is sitting outside and trying desperately to look cool, but he is blushing like a lady bug . So adorable nervous and - turns out- he is looking for you.”

Again, if he didn’t know Jensen, he would have totally missed the reaction on his face.

“So ..what did you say?” Jensen is chewing on his lower lip.

“That your shift starts in one hour and it seems like he is willing to wait. And if you ask me, that boy is _really_ cute, so I would suggest you don’t let him stay out there alone for too long .”

“But I _didn't_ ask you, so excuse me, but I would like to finish my fries, - _alone_! ” Jensen snarked.

JD raises his arms in defense and starts to get up. “Hey, don't shoot the messenger.” And with that he leaves Jensen alone. Jensen looks down to his plate before taking it and tossing the cold fries in the trash bin.

Jensen looks around, trying to calm himself. He never thought that he would see Jared again. He had no idea what got into the boy, when he saw him last night suddenly stepping out of the restroom and practically running up the stairs.

It had taken him a moment to realize that Jared was probably running away, but when he tried to follow him, he had to make his way across the crowded dance floor. By the time he was finally outside the bar, Jared was nowhere to be seen.

And Jensen was pissed, and worse , he was pissed _that_ he was pissed.

So the boy wanted to have some fun and Jensen delivered, end of story, right? It’s not that he wanted to get to know him, right? Or even spend the rest of the night with him, -no way.

Jensen faced the door, took a deep breath, and stepped outside. He is going to tell him to his pretty face that you cannot mess with him. If Jared thinks he's going to talk to him, then he is really on the wrong track. You do not run out on Jensen, and come back for forgiveness. Jensen knows what he is about to do. He’ll go to Jared, tell him that he had his chance and he missed it.

So he steps off in Jared’s direction, with strong steps and a face that shows no emotions.

The moment he reaches the table, Jared turns around and looks him straight in the eyes.

What colors are they? Blue, green, he can’t decide . They seem to change every second and when the afternoon sun falls on Jared’s face, it’s like his eyes are shining.

“Jensen ! I’m so glad that you`re here. I`m so sorry about yesterday, I feel like a complete idiot!”

Jensen should be so mad. God he _is_ mad, but seeing Jared with his big eyes , like a puppy asking to be petted , he feels his emotional wall is about to crack. And Jared just keeps talking. “ I don’t know what got into my mind , I just.. never had .. this.. I mean … with a man.. and I liked it.. . _you_ . but it scares me.. and I ..

Jensen slowly sits down, breathes deeply, and from one second to the other Jared stops babbling . He looks at Jensen and suddenly feels calm.

It’s like Jensen has this aura to command the attention of everyone around him. Jensen knows about this, some might call him arrogant and sometimes he just leaves it that way. But the truth is, he is just focused. Right know he is focused to not let Jared see the war that is battling inside himself. When he reaches the table, he's going to give this boy a chance to speak , to let him know that he hurt him when Jared decided to leave him behind. But seeing Jared, so vulnerable, so insecure, his only feeling is to protect this cute beanpole from every evil in this world.

Jared seem to feel it and to understand it, because he doesn't speak again. He just stays silent, his eyes turned away from Jensen to face the ground, covered behind his bangs. His shoulders hunched in, and Jensen is a little fascinated that this huge tall boy became so small next to him.

They both stay silent for another minute, and when Jensen stands up he has made his decision.

“Look, my shift starts in 30 minutes and it will end in about 5 hours, … if you’re still here, we'll talk.”

“I'll be here. Thank you,” it’s more of a whisper, but Jared’s face lights up like a child on Christmas Day and he smiles at Jensen, his dimples showing. It takes all of Jensen's willpower to not just grab Jared right then and there and take him back to his place.


	9. Chapter 9

Two beers and one Jack and Coke later, Jared feels less tense but more tipsy. He has moved in from outside to sit at the bar. The bar is more crowded now and he starts to feel comfortable. He even talks to the bartender –JD- and decides immediately that he likes him. He gets into light conversation with a few other patrons, but nothing more than normal small talk. He looks out for Jensen and hopes to maybe catch a glimpse of his eyes , just to let him know that he is here and waiting for him. He still feels like a dumb idiot, with all his stuttering and struggling for words. But the moment he saw Jensen he lost it. It was like he couldn’t get his words out fast enough to Jensen, to make him see how sorry Jared was. But the moment Jensen gets close to him, there were no other words for it, he feels safe. Jared didn’t know how to explain it, it was just like a puzzle piece that clicks and fits perfectly into the other to complete the picture.

Jared checks his phone again. Jensen has to work at least three more hours. He posts some pictures he took from the beach yesterday, and checks out his friends on IG. He thinks about talking to Sandy. Could he tell her about Jensen? In the past he always talked to her. He was used to asking her opinion and he misses her. He didn't just lose his lover , he lost one of his best friends and it still hurts so much. Actually two…. he sighs and order one more spiked Coke.

JD looks at him a bit skeptically, but grabs a glass above the bar. He pours the liquor and then fills the rest up with the Coke. “Maybe you should moderate your drinking a little bit, not that you would do something stupid in the end”.

„Something stupid?” Jared laughs, his cheeks turning slightly red from the alcohol. “Like traveling halfway around the world alone,  because you screw up everything? Like telling your parents that you’ll be here with your best buddy, who actually didn’t speak to you since three weeks ago? Or, even better, hanging around here for as long as it takes to make a man you just met know that you have a crush on him?”

Jared’s eyes go wide, as he realizes that he was pouring his heart out to a complete stranger.

“… yes something like that.” JD couldn’t stop smiling.

„Do you think I'm stupid? Sitting here waiting for him?” Jared plays with his glass, takes another sip, and looks shyly at JD. JD waits a moment with his answer, looking at this young man sitting in front of him. He turns around and gets two shot glasses from the desk, get a bottle from underneath the table, and pours some gold-brown bourbon in it. He hands one over to Jared, and as they salute JD leans forward closer to him.

„Believe one thing Son,  Jensen may not be the easiest person you will find on this planet,  but he is worth _every_ single minute of waiting. „Jared swallows down the bourbon and tries unsuccessfully not to cough. The alcohol burns down his stomach and warms him from the inside. JDs words touch him, and if he wasn’t certain before, he is now for sure. That he will wait and do whatever it takes to get to know Jensen. There is movement in the backside of the bar and it seems like the entertainment is about to start.

He looks at JD with a question in his eyes. “Go on, take a look!“ JD grins. “Did you ever see live sex before?” JD smirks.

“No, of course not… are they.. I mean will they really … is this legal??” Jared wasn’t sure if he should feel embarrassed, but his rapidly hardening cock has already decided that it is definitely worth it to take a look. He gets up from his barstool and walks slowly towards the stage. He feels the alcohol in his system, his legs are a bit wobbly, and he needs time to focus. He finally finds a place alongside the rows of chairs, so he can stand in the darker side and watch the event from a safe place. The stage was nearly empty, just a round leather couch without a backrest is settled in the middle. There is a soft spotlight shining on the couch to light up the center of it, but just enough without blinding or showing too much. When the song starts playing, two men walk onto the stage to the couch. Jared recognize the song from Fleurie. “Hurricane” is one of his favorites. The song starts slowly and Jared is fascinated by the two bodies moving slowly together. Both men are naked, their skin shining from oil and some glitter. One of them has short blond hair, a compact, but very muscular body. He is really built, his six-pack is mouthwatering and his ass is really tight. He lays down on the couch and Jared can’t stop staring at his ass, shiny from the oil, as the young man rolls his body up and down lifting his ass in a pure invitation. The other man is taller, also toned, but more well built. His arms are strong and so are his legs and muscled back. His cock is hard and stands strong and proud. He strokes his dick and settles down behind the smaller man in the vee of his legs.

Jared’s dick is fully hard now. The alcohol makes his mind fuzzy, and he notices that the room is getting more full and he is surrounded by other people watching the couple on the stage with intense arousal. The blond man wiggles his ass at the hips of the other, than pushes his body up to lean completely into the taller man. The other embraces the younger one, lets his hands move all over his wonderful formed body, before he rests one hand on his own cock and strokes it slowly. They move together to the rhythm of the music. They take their time in melting together. As if they were alone in this world. Their bodies slowly moving forward and back like an intimate dance.

_I can feel your heart hanging in the air_

_I’m counting every step as you climb the stairs_

_It's buried in your bones, I see it in your closed eyes_

_Turning in_

_this is harder than we know_

_We hold it in the most when we’re wearing thin_

 

Strong hands move around the slim hips of the younger one to find his hard dick and his balls. He strokes the dick faster, until he is fully erect , with a red, leaking tip, smooth with oil and a thick vein standing out.

Jared has to palm his own erection, his cheeks are red and on fire, but there is no way he can take his eyes away. He feels the presence of the strangers around him. Feels their body heat and he thinks he might even feel their hot breath on his neck. Jared's breathing getting short and he wonders if it’s possible to come by just watching these two men. The older man covers the back of the blond man with his body, his hands moving slowly up to the shoulders and together with his mouth they follow a slow trail down the back of the younger one. He has closed his eyes, his mouth open, and he seems completely enveloped in his own lust. Dark hair’s mouth reaches the small of the other man's back. His hands cover both ass cheeks squeeze them firmly as he slowly lets his tongue drag a trail down to the puckered hole of the young man.

_Coming like a hurricane,_

_I take in real slow_

_The world is spinning like a weathervane_

_Fragile and composed I am breaking down again_

_I am aching now to let you in_

 

Jared’s eyes are focused on the couple's play. He never saw anything this erotica in his whole life. There was nothing filthy, nothing wrong with it. He is drowning in the electric fire that watching those two bodies lights up in him. And then, he feels something change. He is still focused on the event that takes place at the center of the stage, but his senses, detecting a familiar scent. Close to him, very close to his back, Jared can feel him. Jared’s eyes are still on the stage, but his other senses are overwhelming him. Jared feels familiar, strong hands holding his hips, softly pushing them back to make contact with the body behind him. And Jared gives in, desperate for the contact. Jared hears him breathing close to his ear and Jared must close his eyes for a moment just to smell him. Jared’s head falls back, he exposes his neck in complete surrender. He feel lips moving from his neck slowly tracing his carotid artery until they find that sweet, soft spot behind his ear. He is hard as a rock and part his legs a bit wider.

“Open your eyes!” -Jensen demands- “Watch them!” and Jared obeys.

 

_Seven times again when you are not awake_

_Seven times the flame, too much to take_

_The sky burns red against your skin_

_The world we know turns in the wind_

 

 

When he opens his eyes Jared no longer sees the couple on the stage. Suddenly all he sees is himself lying down on this red leather with his ass in the air and Jensen behind him, holding him, taking care of him, stroking him. Jared feels like he's in a trance, as he watches himself placing his head down on the couch. Inhaling the smell of the leather, feeling the tip of Jensen’s cock asking for entrance at his tight hole. He watches how easy Jensen's hard dick slides inside him. He can nearly feel this burning inside of him. The oily and shiny cock pushes in and out, they find their rhythm, become one, taken away by lust. Jared cries out with passion on the stage, lets everyone see to whom he belongs and what it does to him. He doesn't hold back, offering all of himself and receiving everything Jensen will give him. They speed up the thrusts deep and hard and Jared witnesses his climax on the stage, white pearly stripes of come dripping down, falling to the ground and he sees Jensen following, one,two,three strong impacts deep inside Jared’s used flesh. His muscles twitch and with the last final push he comes deep inside Jared, giving him everything he has. Their breath is heaving and their bodies shining from sweat.

Jared comes slowly out of his trance, and sees the couple again. How they hold each other in a deep embrace, kissing and smiling. They cover themselves with a towel that was kept behind the couch and with their arms around each other they leave the stage under the thunderous applause from the audience. Jared still stays in his corner, his dick hurtfully hard and he turns around to find that Jensen is gone. Jared blinks, irritated. His breathing is slowly returning to normal and he’s searching the whole area for Jensen. Did Jared dream all this? Wasn’t it Jensen so close to him? Didn’t he feel the want in Jensen's body? And when he finally catches sight of Jensen, he is already on the other side of the room, at the bar, a tub with dirty glasses in his hands, his strong muscles flexing under the weight. But just as Jared feels his disappointment growing in his stomach, Jensen’s eyes find him and those wonderful, shining green orbs sparkle and he grins sheepishly in Jared’s direction. And Jared will wait for him, come what may.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in this fic  
> „Hurricane“ by Fleurie  
> It’s a powerful song with a soft voice.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> Love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> Over 10.000 words I can’t believe it ! Thank you so much for your support!


	10. Chapter 10

  
  
One hour has 60 minutes, 3.600 seconds.  
  
This will never change, it’s the constant beating of our hearts. The pulse of our lives. , Tick, tick, tick , 3 more seconds gone. Sometimes we want those seconds to stop and we want to stay in this moment. Like _Forever._  
  
Sometimes those seconds fly by, and an hour or a day end too soon, and we want to add more seconds and minutes just to expand the moment.  
  
For Jared, the last hour of waiting for Jensen’s shift to end seems like it’s never going to stop. It’s not like it was boring, he was just exhausted. Mentally and physically. He couldn’t wait to see Jensen again, and to spent some time alone with him, but his stomach twisted at the thought of it, to finally be able to talk to him and get to really know him.  
Butterflies are running marathons in his belly, but when he catches a view of Jensen, Jared feels excitement too. It’s like a rollercoaster of emotions and he’s sitting in the front seat.  
  
He gets tired, partly due to the lack of sleep, but also because of the whole impression of this day. Jared refuses more alcohol, as he definitely doesn't want to ruin his next meeting with Jensen because of puking all over him.  
So he switches to plain Coke and some Red Bull on ice.  
The streets outside are filled with life again, the dance area is open, and the familiar sound of music and conversations penetrates his ears.  
  
Jensen is nowhere to be seen.  
  
Jared hopes that this is just a test, that Jensen still wants to meet him after his shift, but that he's giving Jared just a little payback for leaving him yesterday.  
So Jared grabs his drink and heads to the stairs that lead to the dance floor. Just at the thought of what happened last night - there in the darkness - goose bumps appear all over his body.  
He scans the dance area and the bar, but still no sight of Jensen. Jared wasn’t sure if he should dare to walk into the dark room again, and wait to see if Jensen will appear, but he decides against it.  
He walks slowly to one of the alcoves on the left and drops down on a free chair. Jared watches the boys dancing and he is surprised at how natural everything feels. He feels comfortable, like it was always a part of his life. When a hand find its way to his legs Jared stops breathing for a moment. He turns around to find a nice looking guy smiling at him. He is tall with short blond hair and probably Jared’s age, but unfortunately he's not Jensen.  
  
“Hi” the blond says “I’m Morten. Saw you waiting at the bar, very alone and ….very lonely.”  
Morten smiles at him and Jared can`t deny that this guy is really attractive. He is thin, but his arms are defined by strong muscles. Deep blue eyes sparkle at him and a sun-browned tan shows up under his white wife beater. Jared doesn’t want to be impolite and it’s just talking, right?  
“Where’re you from?” Jared notices that English wasn’t Morten's native language .  
Morten leans back in his chair, his eyes rolling to the ceiling when he answers “Norway. And yes please say it !” He throws his hands in the air as if he was waiting for Jared’s reaction.  
And Jared does him the favor and start laughing, his dimples showing and a tear flashing in his eyes.  
“Seriously? Morten from Norway,… so.. where is the rest of your band?”  
“That’s all you’ve got?” Morten chuckles. “Do you have any idea how many Morten or A-HA jokes I have heard so far, or how many boys I have met during school, all called by Morten or Paul?”  
“I’m so sorry” Jared still smiling “I guess school must have been hard for you?” Jared relaxes in his chair and leans back on the wall, taking a sip of his drink.  
“You get used to it. And I think there are worse names out in the world“ Morten looks into Jared’s eyes, and he turns his body and leans into Jared’s personal space.  
“And it gives me the best way to attract a nice guy like you.”  
With that he leans his body even closer to Jared . His hands slide up the denim covering Jared’s legs, and his mouth edges close to Jared’s ear.  
“So sweetie , _Take on me_ ?”  
Jared tries to move back, only to find himself pinned close to the wall. His eyes widen and he tries to get out of this situation.  
“Hey Morten, listen, I’m sorry man, but actually I’m waiting for someone, so if I sent you the wrong signal..”  
“No, I think you just sent the right signal.” Morten let his hand move slowly up to Jared’s crotch and tries to catch Jared’s earlobe. Jared yanks Morten's hand away. He's never been in a situation where he felt _so_ objectified, and he really just want the blond to stop.  
“Please, I really don’t want that! ” His hands try to shove Morten’s hands away and he turns his head to avoid Morten’s lips that are obviously trying to kiss him.  
“Come on, don’t be such a wallflower, you’re hot as hell and I can make you feel really good.”  
  
A deep, angry voice cuts in, "I think he's made himself clear, don't you?"  
  
Two strong hands reach around Morten's shoulders and pull the blond man up on his feet.  
“ Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?” Morten yells, as he tries to get himself out of Jensen's strong grip .  
“I’m the guy who's going to kick your fucking ass until my foot meets your teeth, you don't leave this bar right fucking now!"  
Jensen's voice is calm, and low, but his green eyes are on fire.  
His whole body is tense and there is no doubt in his body language that he means every single word.  
  
Morten finally gets the broad hint, and turns around to climb the stairs as fast as he can.  
  
Jared is still shaking as he looks up into Jensen’s eyes. He still sees the fire burning in them.  
  
“You, ok?” Jensen slowly starts to relax, and drops himself down in the chair next to Jared.  
“Yeah ..I’m good.. thank you….he .. that was really ..“ Jared feels guilty. He had just wanted to be friendly and make some small talk.  
He shifts in his seat and tries not to think of what might have happened, if Jensen hadn't shown up.  
“Maybe you should stop being so nice to strangers.“ Jensen says calmly, but the corner of his lips are twitching up in a smirk. . He looks at Jared, as if he really wants to make sure that the boy is alright.  
“Well then, it’s good that I know your name, right Jensen?” Jared, snarks, and leans a bit forward.  
Jensen keeps staring into those gorgeous hazel eyes, thinking about his next words. And with a sudden move, he jumps up.

  
“Come on Orange Blossom!” He grabs Jared by the hand and leads him through the room.  
Jared’s body start to vibrate. Will Jensen led him again into the dark room? Right after this asshole tried to get into his pants? But Jensen just walks by the bar, fetches a bottle from it, and goes on walking to a door with an “Employee’s Only” sign.  
He swipes his employee ID into the secure lock and Jared finds himself in a staircase and they start to climb up the stairs . There are doors on every level, but they keep on walking until they reach the very top at the rooftop. Again, Jensen uses his card to open the door to the roof.  
  
When they step outside , Jared feels the wind blowing in his face, but it’s not chilling, it's more comfortable, refreshing. They walk between the air conditioning and energy panels to the end of the roof . Jared can hear the noises from the street down below, and he enjoys the view of the area. Where the street ends and the beach seems to start, there is nothing but complete darkness. Stars are shining in the sky and the moon is on its way to becoming full and bright.  
They walk close to the gutter to a point where one of the chimneys is higher on one side, so when Jensen finally sits down, he swings his legs over the gutter but leans back against the chimney. He motions to his right side and Jared accepts the invitation cautiously. Slowly he sits down, relaxing against the chimney, but it takes him a moment to be brave enough to finally dangle his legs off the roof.

  
“Want some?” Jensen offers the bottle to Jared. He looks at the Jack Daniels in Jensen's hand.

  
“Is that your revenge? Get me drunk and then push me over the rooftop?”

  
Jensen looks shocked and takes the bottle out of Jared’s hand.  
“No, I was just trying to be nice. Why are you being such an asshole?” Jensen takes a swig from the bottle, and places it down at his side. Jared pulls his legs up to his chest and pouts.

  
“M´Sorry. Just trying to be funny.”

  
“Well, then try harder!” _God_ , Jensen rolls his eyes, what was he thinking, bringing this boy to his personal hiding place. He loves this place of retreat, away from the loneliness. Where he's able to watch the ignorant people walking down below on the streets. And now this goofball is sitting next to him and ruining it. He chews on his bottom lip before he takes another sip out of the bottle.  
They sat in complete silence for the next ten minutes. At first Jared is just confused. Why was Jensen so angry at him? He looks over and studies Jensen’s face, who keeps staring off into the distance. Jared lets his view wander over every part of Jensen’s beautiful profile. His nose, his cheekbones, and those wonderful, perfect lips. Jared realizes that they didn’t kiss the night before. He shivers at the very idea of moving closer to Jensen and pressing his lips on his mouth. How will they taste? How will it feel to just place soft kisses to the corner of Jensen’s lips, to carefully let his tongue ask for permission to slowly open up his mouth and searching for Jensen's tongue? How would the first taste of his warm mouth feel? Jared suddenly feels hot and he's happy that it's so dark because his cheeks are red and flushed. He wonders if Jensen notices how much he turns him on?  
When Jensen still doesn't react, Jared sighs quietly and looks away. He lets his eyes wander over the town and inhale this unique perspective. He calms down and after a few more minutes feels himself just enjoying this. Both of them just being next to each other. Feeling the body heat from Jensen and the little electrical shivers in his arm which is so close to this still strange guy.

  
“Why did you run away?” Jensen suddenly speaks, and Jared starts slightly.

  
“I .. don’t know, dude I was .. I was..” Jared tries to put his feelings into words, but once again he feels unable to explain.  
Jensen turns to Jared and looks into those big, beautiful eyes.

  
“Why did your run away, Jared?” Jensen presses him.

  
Jensen's voice was soft, but firm. And Jared sees what these words mean to Jensen. Jensen has let his guard down, and is allowing Jared to see something that wasn’t there before. Right now, just in _this_ moment, Jensen seems hurt and insecure. Here on this roof, Jensen isn't just this cool guy sitting next to him. Jensen is just as human and real as Jared. And Jared feels like the most important person on this planet to be let in like this. Like he was allowed to just be himself, and to be as honest as _never_ before in his life .

  
“When I was in that restroom, I could hear some guys making out ,” Jared starts speaking, more to himself, and plays with the bottom of his shirt while avoiding looking into Jensen's eyes. “And they were obviously enjoying it.“ Jared takes another deep breath. “It suddenly felt so dirty. No .. I don’t mean you, please don’t get me wrong here. I don’t regret what happened there, it’s just not who I am.“  Jared’s eyes lock with Jensen’s as if he wants to make sure that he will understand him.  
”I mean, _yes_ I love sex, and honestly that,.. this.. “ He points between the two of them ”was amazing. I just, ..I’m not that guy.” Jared’s whisper the last words and memories he tries to burn rush into his mind.

  
_What are you now, freaking faggot, a cockslut just to bend your ass over for every fucking guy to be taken?_

  
Tears show up in his eyes, but he beats them back and swallows.  
“Then what kind of guy are you?” Jensen notices the struggle in Jared’s voice and the shimmer in his eyes. He stays calm, but he puts his cool face back on. This shouldn’t hit him so hard . He puts his self-protection shields up again, and tries to look as neutral as possible. Why is this boy affecting him so much?

  
“May I ?” Jared gestures to the bottle next to Jensen, who grabs to his left to hand Jared the whiskey. Jared takes a little sip , and tastes the pure, strong liquor while he fumbles with the etiquette.

  
“Honestly, I think I’m just a normal guy.” Jared shrugs his shoulders

  
“I mean, I’m nothing special. I have a younger sister and an older brother. I hang out with my friends, listen to music, and love dogs, so you see, totally normal. Oh and I play chess.” Jared takes another small sip, but more for something to keep his hands busy.

  
“Chess? So much for ‘normal guy!’” Jensen couldn’t hold back a smile.

  
“Dude, What do you want, it’s a very challenging game . You have to use your brain and try to stay focused. You have to play up to four different moves in your mind and try to read your opponent.”

  
“Whatever.” Jensen tries to snatch the bottle back from Jared, but the boy is quick with his reflexes.

  
“I’m not finished”, and to prove it he brings the bottle to his lips, but again he just takes a very small sip, as he feels the booze warming his blood. He _definitely_ wants to stay as sober as possible.

  
Jensen lets his tongue slip out of his mouth and licks his bottom lip as he stares at Jared as he gets his lips around of the neck of the bottle. Jensen doesn't even try to hide the arousal that starts to grow once again in him. And if looks could undress Jared, the boy would be naked already. “So you’re a normal guy, and despite the fact that I now think you’re a nerd..” Jared raises an eyebrow“.. what was the problem? You wanted to have some fun, try to find out what it's like to be with a guy , so why the running? You said it yourself , you enjoyed it, and from my point of view you _really_ enjoyed it.“

  
Jensen grins at Jared and provokes the younger man. Both could feel the tension rising between them . It was like an invisible electric thunder, which grows every minute. But Jared tries to hold back his impulse to lean into Jensen as this conversation was too important to him to not finish it.

  
“Yes, I _did_ enjoy it. And _yes_ maybe when I planned this trip , it was what I wanted to do. Just go out and look … or do a bit more, nothing to think about, just have fun, no regrets.

  
But what I'm trying to tell you is.. this .. I.. I don’t want to just “experiment” on what it’s like to be with a guy. I want to _know_ if I _am_ .. if I’m really..”

  
“The word you are looking for is _gay_.”

  
Jared looks lost. After a long moment he finally speaks.

  
“Yes, I came here to find out if I’m gay.”

  
Jared took one final sip from the bottle and returned the liquor to Jensen.  
Who just put the bottle back beside him and watched Jared becoming even smaller next to him. He hides his face once again behind his floppy hair, and Jensen isn’t sure if he maybe even starts to cry.

  
Jensen places his arm around Jared and with his other hand he carefully brushes the silky brown hair behind Jared’s ear.

  
“So, you have your answer?” he whispers.

Jared doesn't dare look into Jensen’s eyes.  
“I guess I have.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the late update. My work keeping me busy and I had some private issues to deal with. But now I’m happy to give you at least a small nice update. And I promise I’m already working on the next chapter . And .. it’s getting hotter...

  
  
“ **Jensen Ross Ackles!!!** “ JD’s voice breaks through the intimate moment and Jensen curses silently. They release each other from their embrace and Jensen peeks out from his hiding spot to face the older man.  
„What?“ he yells back.  
„Can’t you remember that your shift isn’t done yet and you better get your lazy ass downstairs or...oh…  
At the moment Jared shows up from the other side of the chimney , JD goes silent.   
„I didn’t know you were here too, yeah, so finish your _talking_ and then Jensen, I want you to help Gerrit with the kegs.“ He turns around to leave but speaks over his shoulder „and don’t you think I didn’t see that bottle there.” With that, he closes the door and leaves the two of them alone.  
  
„The bartender is your boss?“ Jared asks as they sit back down together. He can’t believe that he screwed up even more, thinking that he confessed to Jensen’s boss that he was into one of his employees.   
„JD is the owner of the bar, together with Nick, his husband. He maybe seem old and grumpy, but believe me, he’s more of a father to me than my dad ever was.“  
-Yep, Jared is screwed.  
  
Eventually Jensen sighs deeply, stands up, and beats the dust from his jeans.   
  
Jared follows his move but can’t hide his disappointment. He wishes that they had more time together as he _really_ enjoys Jensen’s company. So now it seems he has to wait even longer for Jensen’s shift to end.  
Jensen looks at the boy and the emotion he sees on Jared’s face is reflected in his own. But he also sees Jared’s tired eyes and thinks the young man really should get some sleep.  
He decides to switch some plans around and while they are moving back to the stairs, he grabs Jared’s hand .  
„You know what? I’m going to finish my shift here and then I’m going to have a talk with „Mr. Sunshine“ to get me the day off tomorrow.  
“So what about _you_ getting some sleep and then I’m going to pick you up at ten?”  
Jared judges Jensen’s words, he _is_ really tired and spending the day with Jensen seems like a really good deal.  
“Do you have something in mind?  
Jensen close the distance between them, pinning Jared at the rooftop door.  
  
“ _So. Many. Things_ ”  
  
He trails his hands slowly over Jared’s body.  
“What about we're going to the beach, get a little more sun on your white, American body, and the rest..” he carefully runs his thumb over Jared’s cheeks, his lips, and brushes lightly down his throat.  
“..We will see…. ”  
Jared’s slowly opens his eyes, just recognizing that he closed them while Jensen was whispering those words .  
“Sounds good. Sounds …really good”  
  
  
  
Jared first wakes up at nine, but decides to give his body and his brain another half hour, so he just slides back under the covers and closes his eyes again. He just can't stop grinning, it's like his smile is plastered on his face and his muscles refuse to listen to him.  
He is going to spend the day with Jensen, and his stomach suddenly feels all warm and his dick is getting hard at the thought of Jensen, his green eyes and _God_ his wonderful full, soft lips.  
He has to kiss those lips, has to taste his mouth, wants to lick every freckle on Jensen’s body.  
Jared’s dick is hard and his hand automatically wanders down to stroke himself lazily. Jared’s moaning, and in his mind he pictures them both hot from the sun, naked and hard against each other exchanging hot kisses, rolling their hips together, pushing, teasing, wanting.  
  
He strokes harder and faster, his other hand clasping his balls, squeezing them, pinching them lightly. He licks his palm and wanders back to his balls, then further, until he circles his hole and plays with it, just barely touches it. His fingertip pushes carefully at his tight entrance, then he slides one finger a bit inside. He imagines that it is Jensen’s finger, trailing down and slowly pushing it inside and Jared suddenly comes hard, his hand still around his cock and he is riding every wave of pleasure until he is completely sated..  
  
He showers and dresses once again in his Hilfiger swim shorts, a simple blue shirt, and his flip flops. His hair is still wet when he steps outside his room, so he lets it dry from the warm, humid air. He puts his sunglasses on and walks out of the entrance of the hotel onto the street.   
He checks his phone to see that he is running five minutes late. _Damn_ why is he always late?  
He suddenly realizes that they didn’t exchange numbers. What if Jensen was here and just didn’t wait for him, or worse, what if Jensen never planned to show up?  
  
He gets his answer immediately just as he gets out on the street. He spots Jensen on the other side, sitting on the pavement, a coffee cup in his hands. And _God_ he looks gorgeous. A pair of denim shorts and a red shirt so tight that you definitely know what kind of well-muscled body is underneath it.  
Jared smiles and crosses the street. Jensen gets up, sipping the last of his coffee before he tosses the cup in the trash bin.  
“Morning, sleeping beauty” he teases Jared while shamelessly checking him out.  
They stand in front of each other and Jared is unsure how to welcome him.  
Can he kiss Jensen, or is that too awkward?  
Finally he does what he always does when he greets friends, he just hugs him tight and laughs. Jensen looks at Jared as if he is from another planet but comes back to his senses and points to his Vespa.  
“Yeah.. ok .. so, you’re ready to go?”  
Jared looks at the Vespa, then back at Jensen.  
“You’re sure about that?”  
“Do you have any problems with it?”  
Jensen growls while taking his place in the front and turns the key in the ignition.  
Jared climbs behind him, pressing his body close to Jensen, and out of reflex he throws his arms around Jensen’s chest. Jared rests his head on Jensen’s shoulder and feels his body so warm and strong.  
“No, absolutely no problem with that.”  
  
They drive about half an hour, Jared enjoying the warm summer wind blowing through his hair, the warmth he receives from Jensen’s body pressed so close to his own. He smells Jensen, keeping his face close to his neck and just inhales his scent. His nose tickles from Jensen’s short hair and in his opinion, this drive should never end.   
  
They enter the small city of Jomtien, more like a mixture of crappy houses, palms, and little shops.  
They park the Vespa at a public beach parking lot and Jared notices that he can already smell the ocean.  
From a storage box under the seat of the Vespa, Jensen pulls out a blanket and Jared realizes that he has brought nothing with him, just his phone and wallet. He curses to himself and feels completely unprepared.  
Jensen catches Jared staring at the blanket and smiles.  
“Maybe I share mine with you?“  
“Depends on?” Jared smiles back.  
“Let’s see what you are willing to do to get by my side” Jensen reaches once again into the box to get out a small bag before bringing the seat back in position and locking it up.  
“Well maybe we should discuss the price _before_ we head to the beach.”  
“Nah I don’t think so, you _will_ be by my side” Jensen looks back over his shoulder while slowly walking to the beach, his hips shaking a little bit too much.  
“Pff what makes you think that. It’s just a piece of a blanket you're offering me, that’s all you’ve got for getting my full attention?”  
Jensen turns half around but keeps on going.  
“Oh I'm sure you'll be following me for my blanket, but I _know_ that you'll stay with me because of the suntan lotion I keep with me.”  
With this Jensen turns around and Jared wishes the ground would open up and swallow him.  
He should be grateful that he remembered to put some clothes on in the morning.  
  
When they entered the long beach, Jared just had to stop and inhale everything. The sandy beach is unbelievably long, no end in sight. The water is beautiful with varied shades of blue, and the small waves glitter in the sun. A few palms give shade and it is less crowded than the beach in Pattaya. There were no boats on the ocean, no water skiers, nothing but the salty smell of the ocean and the peaceful sound of freedom.  
Jensen comes up into his view, standing close to him, and they share this moment.  
“I’m always fascinated, how lost I get just watching the ocean. You think you may get used to it, but it gets me every time.”  
Jared takes a moment to stare at Jensen, seeing his beautiful aura shining in the sun and he has this urgent need to wrestle him down, pinning him right here in the sand and kissing him stupid.  
  
_Behave Jared! Just for once try to be cool._  
  
Jensen points to a spot in the sand laying in the shadow between two palms and starts walking.  
Jared puts his shoes in his hand, and follows him, one step, two step, _shit this is hot, shit this is fucking hot._ He starts to jump from one foot to the other and speeds up his steps. And of course Jensen with his fucking cool sneakers walks like a Greek God behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a grey and rainy day. Wish I could be at home under my blanket with a cup of coffee. As this is not possible, I like to gift y‘all an extra long and warm chapter. Enjoy!

[](https://ibb.co/zRSZCfd)

Chapter 12

 

They put the blanket on the sand and Jensen sit s  down. Removing his shoes and socks, he  can't stop smiling at the way Jared sped up to the shady spot. Jensen shake s  his head. This boy is going to be the death of him. He gets out of his shirt and his jeans, folds them, and puts them on his shoes beneath the blanket.

It’s when Jared  takes his shirt off too and starts to run to the water when Jensen forgets how to breathe.

“You comin?“

„Uh, gimme a minute.“

Jensen just stares.  

It’s the first time he has seen  _that_ much of Jared’s body, and  _oh_ _my_ _god_ this boy is  _definitely_  going to kill him. And it will be a sweet, wonderful way to go.

He can’t take his eyes off  Jared's body, so unbelievable tall, broad shouldered , and fucking gorgeous arms. Fine chest hairs ,  he wants to dig in with his fingertips ,  and his treasure trail… a pure invitation to search for the origin.

Jensen is chewing on his bottom lip, his dick getting harder as he watches Jared diving into the ocean.

Jensen tries to fight it, but finally yawns, remembering that he only got 4 hours of sleep. He’d  worked t ill dawn to get the day off. 

JD was a bit surprised about his request and tried  to get more out of Jensen regarding the reason, which was – _obviously_ -Jared. But Jensen just  shut him down, didn’t want to talk about why and how he wants to spend  the day with Jared. He couldn’t believe that it was less than 72 hours ago that Jared showed up in his life. And the whole time this boy has attracted him more and more with every passing minute. Just when he thinks he has gotten a read on him, Jared surprises him with another layer. He seems shy, even childish, but _hell_  his body is  definitely that of a man. And he is clever and smart and soft. He is polite and his smile can melt an iceberg, and _fuck_ when did he start thinking so much about him?

And then Jared decides to  get o ut of the water, and with every step he takes closer to their blanket, Jensen can feel his dick harden.  Jared's long hair, wet and  plastered to his head, and  the water dripping  down Jared’s long, lean body. 

_Dear_. _Fucking_. _Lord_. 

Ursula Andress, Halle Berry, and even Daniel  _sexy_ Craig would be green with envy seeing  his walk. 

The sheepish smile on Jared’s lips tells Jensen that he definitely knows he’s putting on a show and clearly enjoying it. His dimples show up, and when he finally reaches the blanket and Jensen, he can’t hold back shaking his head, sending cold drops of water  over Jensen’s heated body.

Jensen curses to himself, shrieking like a girl because of the sudden cold, and he wrestles Jared down, pinning him to the ground. Jared just l a ughs even louder, rolling Jensen to his back, pressing his cold body against Jensen’s hot skin. Their faces  are close,  _really_ close .  Jared’s wet strands of hair tickle and cause him to shiver slightly. He looks into those  incredibly beautiful hazel eyes, so close to him.

Jensen blinks, he wants to say something, but he can't, and suddenly the moment is gone. Jared silently sits up, playing with the sand , drawing circles in it.

 

Jensen sits up, crossing his legs, his mind spinning. He is far from shy, and  the body next to him screams for his attention. But all of his short affairs and one night stands have had one thing in common.

He never kissed them. 

Not on the mouth. It was a rule, a burden he lays on himself to remind him. It’s ridiculous, he knows, and honestly he used to love to kiss … but that was another time and he swears nobody will get so close to him ever again. 

 

“When did you know?” Jensen surprises him and  he's brought quickly out of his thoughts by Jared's words. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“When did you know that you were gay?” Jared’s eyes finding his own, looking so open and interested .

 Jensen stretches his legs, leaning back on his elbows, looking up at Jared's face.

 “Guess it was always there.. I mean, sure, at first I’d hang out with other guys, talking about girls and how pretty they are, the   regular bs, you know.” Jensen shrugs,  staring out at an imaginary point  in the ocean.

“I even kissed a girl and  got my hands under her shirt, it was nice and soft, and I liked it, but it just didn’t feel right. There were these little things you know, like  everyone talking about Kate Winslet getting painted naked, while I got lost in diCaprio`s eyes, …so something seemed  not so normal. But I still didn’t see it. Then the things you learn in school during sex  ed, everyone talking about  AIDS  and protection, hetero or homosexuality and it .. I don’t know.. it kinda  clicks, and everything suddenly makes sense to me. 

So…one night  I go out searching for places to just “ _be_ ” …and  ended up with a guy I had just met, getting my dick sucked in a public toilet in a gay club and  _shit_ what can I say, it was hot as hell, ….sound familiar?” Jensen beams at Jared, who immediately turns his eyes to the sand.

Just to look up again after a moment.

“So … you watched Titanic?” he smirks.

„Dude,  _seriously_ , that’s all you heard?” Jensen pouts, and Jared laughs, l oud and deep, and Jensen’s stomach flutters. Seeing Jared laughing makes him  SO happy.

 

„It`s nothing you have to be ashamed of, you know that, don’t you?“ Jensen  asks, his voice calm when he continues. 

“It’s fun, its good, and there is nothing wrong in enjoying it, finding out what you like or don't, to explore you r  body and to get to know yourself.”

“God, now you  _really_ sound like a sexual education teacher.” Jared rolls his eyes. 

“Jared, I mean it.” Jensen isn`t loud, more like a whisper, but there is so much power in his voice that it sends goosebumps over Jared’s body.

“I know” Jared speaks  more to himself, lays himself back on the blanket with his arm behind his head and watches above him the shady palm  leaves swaying in the wind.

Jensen turns his body, laying on his stomach, using his forearms for support while still looking into Jared’s face.

“I just want to make sure  that you never,  _ever_ have to run away” …. _from_ _me_ he added silently.

Jared turns his head, watching Jensen ,  his eyes shining so green, surrounded by those   incredibly long lashes, his short  hair  nearly blond from the sun with a hint of red in it. His freckles starting  from his nose, over his cheeks, crossing his shoulders, and  continuing down his arms.

He looks back up in the sky, a smile on his lips when he opens his mouth again.

 

“Then teach me.”

 

“Huh?“

 

Jared closes his eyes, the smile still there.

“You said there is nothing I have to be ashamed of, so I guess you aren't either, and you said that I have to explore more, what I like or not .. so teach me.” He opens one eye a bit more to see Jensen's face showing an  unreadable expression.

“You sure?” Jensen still can’t believe  the opportunity Jared is extending to him, like on an expensive invitation embossed with golden  letters . 

“Yes, I’m sure.” Jared slowly opens both eyes to make Jensen see how honest he is about it.

Jensen  rolls his body  to the side and closes the distance between them. He feels Jared’s hot skin on his own as his feet tangle with Jared’s sand-covered ones. Slowly he lets his fingertips trail over Jared’s arm, watching every movement when he paint slow trails over his skin moving slowly to Jared’s shoulder.

“What do you want to know ?“

Jared close his eyes again. Feels Jensen’s fingers dancing on his skin. The sun warms his body and the waves crash   loudly in his ears. He feels relaxed and safe.

“How does it feel? Does it hurt?“

Jensen’s fingers reached his shoulder blade, gently caressing his collarbone before moving to his other arm.

“What  do  you mean?”

He brings his lips closer to Jared’s ear while he continues to explore his other arm.

He sense that Jared feels uncomfortable, not because of the touch, but for the next words.

“To .. to have sex.. with a man, is it true that it hurts?”

His eyes are still closed, his cheeks getting a little pink.

Jensen uses all his five fingers to glide again over his arm down to his neck.

“To be honest I don’t know by my own experience. I was always more the one who gives and not who receives..” He whisper his words in Jared’s ear, and he sees the effect they have on Jared’s body. His nipples harden, the wind playing with his now dry chest hair and there is definitely a sign of a tent in Jared’s shorts.

“..but yes it might hurt a bit at the beginning and you have to try to relax. Your body needs to be prepared and at first it will feel a bit uncomfortable .”

“But I promise you” a soft kiss under his ear

“when you let me” a little bit lower

“teach you” light kisses down Jared’s neck

“I will take care of you,” fingernails carefully scratch over Jared’s chest

“I will make you feel so good..” Jensen licks his tongue over Jared’s nipple, his fingers slowly find their way over the belly of the young man.

Jared  lies still on his back, his cheeks red, and his lips parted. He feels the blood pumping in his dick .

Jensen’s finger trails down Jared’s leg, these wonderful lips closing  around his nipple, sucking  i t into his mouth . Jared can’t hold back a moan, his cock fully hardened, and his hips pushing up uncontrollably.

He moves his arms from behind his head and carefully slides his hand down Jensen’s back.

Meanwhile, Jensen’s hand moves back over the boy´s knee, on the inside of Jared’s thigh,   under his swim shorts, his index finger lightly brushing over Jared’s balls .Hearing him moaning and breathing hard, Jensen’s own arousal grows, his cock throbbing and pressing hard against his Speedo.He carefully massages Jared’s balls, closing his fingers around the base  of his  huge cock. Jensen’s teeth scratch over Jared’s nipple, teasing him, sucking him, licking him .  His hand strokes Jared’s dick slowly, with steadily increasing pressure.  He looks up to see the heat on Jared’s face, his cheeks deep red, his beautiful lips dark and swollen as Jared starts chewing on his bottom lip .

“Don’t hold back - Come on. Show me how much you like it. ”

“God, fuck!“ Jared tosses his head back in the sand, he opens his legs wider wanting more , more of Jensen stroking his cock, more of his voice whispering in his ears. Jensen brings his arm around Jared’s neck reaching down and squeezing  Jared’s other nipple,  twisting it between his fingers. He  pulls Jared's Shorts  down, and Jared’s cock springs free, fully erect.  Jensen uses the precome shining on the slit and rubs it around  the tip of  Jared’s dick. ” _Fuck_ you are  _really_ huge!“ Jensen moans.   „Such a big cock and so hard!” Jensen lips are again close to Jared’s ear , licking and sucking his earlobe, his fingers still punishing the hard nipple and his other  hand  stroking Jared’s massive cock harder and faster.” 

_Fuck_ , I , Jensen, I  ngh.... _god_ … ” Jared moans l ou d and deep, his  right  hand grabbing in the sand ,  his left scratching down Jensen's back .  with Jensen half on top of him and his arm pushing him down, he nearly can’t move.

” You’re so beautiful,  _god_ you drive me crazy Jared, come on, yes come on”. 

Jared opens his eyes, no words leaving his mouth just a deep growl and he comes hard all over Jensen’s fingers and on his own stomach. Jensen strokes him though the aftershock, still teasing his nipples and sucks hard on his neck. When it’s too much, Jared starts to wiggle ,  his eyes searching for Jensen. 

“ Let me ..please let me touch you.” He still can’t breathe properly, but he knows he wants to return the favor by giving  Jensen back some of the intense feelings he had just given to Jared. 

He puts more pressure against Jensen's body and shifts them, so that Jensen lays on his back. Jared's big, strong hand moving over Jensen’s face, his thumb sliding over those wonderful, plush lips, his eyes  searching for Jensen’s. He wants to see him. He wants to watch Jensen's face as he pleasures him.  But the  older  boy  pushes his head back against Jared’s neck, sucking again, placing marks on his body while  guiding  Jared’s hand down to Jensen's cock. Jared’s eyes follow  Jensen’s  hand, and he presses his hand firmly over the thin fabric and  feels the hard line of Jensen's dick.  Jensen responds immediately, his cock twitching at the contact. Jensen moans against Jared’s neck, taking the hand of the you nger  boy  again  and guides it under his Speedo. Jared watches his hand disappear  under the tight material, and he fe e ls  Jensen’s  steel hard cock sheathed with soft, velvety skin. Jensen pulls his Speedo down, tucking it under his balls. His cock is hard in Jared’s massive hand as he opens his legs wider and watches Jared's  fingers lightly playing with his balls. Jared jerks  Jensen’s coc k as if it was his own, using  every technique that would make himself feel  good. He changes the speed,  j ust teasing  the head of Jensen's cock, then strokes him hard and fast. Jensen starts breathing faster, pushing his hips into Jared’s hand 

”Yes! Just like this, don’t slow down,  _god_ , yes , yes,  _faster_. ” His breath becomes unsteady as he  falls back in the sand,  eyes closed and his mouth wide open. Jared keeps up the speed, stroking Jensen’s dick steadily as he  brings his upper body over Jensen,  his lips searching for Jensen’s mouth.  

Jensen feels his orgasm rising, feels his balls tighten, and  turns his head away from Jared's searching lips, instead biting down on  Jared’s shoulder as he moans loudly, his orgasm hitting him hard.  He continues biting and moaning as he  shoots long bursts of come between their bodies. 

Jensen let his body fall back into the sand, taking deep breaths and just enjoying his relaxed muscles. Jared watched his face, lowering his view over Jensen’s stomach with trails of come dripping down. 

He slowly opened his grip around Jensen’s cock, watching it still twitching. With Jensen’s eyes still closed  he dares to compare his own dick with Jensen’s. Jared knows he is ..well. .pretty  well-hung , comparing to his classmates he  has been shyly watching under the shower, but it’s the first time he has seen  another dick  this close. Jensen’s is smaller but seems fatter, a strong vein showing from his underside and he remembers that there is a tiny curve to the left when his dick is fully erect. He slowly removes his hand completely, still covered  with Jensen’s come. And he hesitates. Out of curiosity he knows how he himself tastes, but will Jensen taste the same? It’s not really spectacular, more salty and bitter and nothing he would call amazing. But he wants to try and without any more  thought, his fingers are on their way to his mouth. He prepares for the taste and his pink  tongue peeks through his  lips when suddenly he  sees that Jensen has been watching him. With wide eyes he puts his hand down,  frantically smearing Jensen’s semen over his  thigh, and  starts to lay back, pretending nothing has happened. That’s when Jensen grabs his chin, not brutal, but strong enough to make Jared look back into his eyes.

“ I told you, there is nothing you have to be ashamed of.”  Jen's voice is husky and rough and with this, he  casually drags two fingers over his stomach, circling an dipping through his milky liquid. Then he brings his covered fingers to Jared’s mouth, never breaking eye contact. Jared instinctively lets his tongue touch Jensen’s fingertips, tasting Jensen’s  come for the first time. It's nearly the same taste as his own, a bit stronger, but most of all underneath and dominant he recognizes  the taste of Jensen. Who smoothes his fingers completely over Jared’s tongue inside his mouth. There is absolute  silence between them, the only sounds are the waves  crashing. Jared closes his mouth around Jensen’s fingers and sucks at them, licking them clean. Eventually, Jensen lets his  dampened fingers wander over Jared’s lips, down his chin, and over his chest until he reaches Jared’s own come, which already started to dry, leaving a thin, white  film on him.  He cupped the liquid which remained, and with a smile on his face and not looking away from Jared’s eyes, he brings the liquid to his own mouth, smearing  it around, before lapping his tongue over those gorgeous plush lips, tasting everything he had  gathered from the boy.

Jared’s dick is getting hard again.  _God_ to see Jensen like this, so self-aware of himself, so dominant and so easy to talk to, he just wants to give him everything, wants to learn everything this man has to offer him.

 

“ So”,  Jensen’s voice is smooth and soft, “ Lesson number one..”

 

“How to jerk someone off?“ Jared’s smirks, cheeks  still pink from his orgasm, but his smile is  beaming at Jensen. 

 

“Never hold yourself back if you want to try something new.” Jensen lays down, satisfied and relaxed, feeling  the wind on his body.   He closes his eyes. He notices Jared is laying down as well, he feels his body close to him, and it’s strange, but it’s such a good feeling that he wonders if it’s getting hotter the last few minutes or why else his body is suddenly so warm. 

He peeks over to Jared who has also closed his eyes, and seems so relaxed beside  him.  Jared, who is so shy and innocent, but with just one look  he seems to stare  into  Jensen's soul. Jensen tries to build up his walls again, but it seems that the chestnut-haired beauty just has to  snap his fingers against it and it crumbles and comes down one brick  at a time, and it  scares Jensen. It scares the  _hell_ out of him, and he knows he shouldn’t do this , he should stop this before it goes any further, before the boy  reaches the last stone  of his heart.  _No_ _way_ !  _This_ is _so_ _not_ _going_ _to_ _happen_ , Jensen thinks to himself. 

 

They lay there for the next two hours, just stopping for a quick dip  in the water to remove the remnants of their earlier play, and adding sunscreen  to their heated bodies. They enjoy putting the crème on each other’s backs and inner thighs, maybe accidently rubbing against their balls or ass cheeks, but it stays more non- erotic  (for the most part.) 

They talk about movies and music, both sharing their love for classic rock. Jared opens his Spotify list to play some of his favorites for Jensen, who suggests some back to Jared.

They have a not-so-serious discussion that if Jared, now that he is  _definitely_  gay, has to switch from the 70’s music to the 80’s . And when Jared has to relieve himself, Jensen  takes the opportunity to change his Spotify list to a  _festival_ _best_ _of_ _80’s_ _disco_ _songs_ .


	13. Chapter 13

[](https://ibb.co/myFc4j4)   
[bilder upload seite](https://de.imgbb.com/)   


„Chapter 13

 

 

In the afternoon they walk at the water’s edge, their footsteps leaving a trail in the water-soaked sand. Both staying close to each other , sometimes no space at all between them. 

“I still don’t get it. Why don’t you have a dog of your own?”

“Jared, I told you, there is no way..”

“But you said you love dogs. ”

“Yes, and I love ice cream. Do you see me driving an ice cream truck?”

“I would buy from you. And you could wear a nice ice cream vendor uniform.”

“That wasn’t the point.”

“ I guess you would look awesome.”

“Of course I would. But still not the point.”

“There are so many stray dogs here.”

“ You can’t save all of them Jared!”

„Yeah, I know. But you could rescue one of them...

I think you're a “French bulldog” kinda guy.”

“….”

“Or a poodle.”

“…”

“Hah, a labradoodle!”

“What the heck is wrong with you? I want just a normal dog.”

“So we get you a German Shepherd.”

Jensen thinks about the possibility of throwing  an octopus at Jared.

“I’m not getting a dog, the strays here are used to life on the street. They get enough handouts from the tourists. Get a dog of your own.”

“I will. I’m planning to get two. And then I will call one of them Jensen.”

There are no octopuses in the gulf of Thailand.

“I can’t just bring a dog to JD's  home. And  I can’t  leave a dog alone the whole day at the bar.”

“You don’t know what JD would say, if you don’t even ask. And a dog can be trained to stay at home when you are at work.”

 

Jared stops suddenly, and when Jensen turns around he finds himself in Jared’s arms. Jared is now the one who catches Jensen’s earlobe with his mouth and whispers “You just don’t want to take the responsibility, don’t want to bind your heart to something.” And with that he places a quick and soft kiss on Jensen’s cheek, starts walking, and leaves a completely speechless Jensen behind. 

 

************************************************

 

“Ouch!“ Jared rubs the back of his head, where Jensen has been lightly  hitting him with the palm of his hand. “You earned that!” Jensen moves closer  to his side trying to ignore the statement Jared  threw at him seconds ago.” _What_? I just think a dog  would suit you, that’s all.”

“Well, maybe I’ll keep _you_ as my dog then!” It was meant as a joke, but both of them   seem to pick up on the deeper meaning, though  neither of them dares to say.

“Yeah whatever..” Jensen finally says, rubbing his hand around his neck and avoiding eye contact.

“I think ..I need to stretch my muscles.”

 

And with that, Jensen  wades deeper in the water until he can’t reach the  bottom anymore. And  with a dozen more strokes, he leaves the  beach and Jared behind him.

_How_ _dare_ _he_? Jensen fumes.  Jensen has everything under control, his job, his friends, his life, everything was fine , no everything _is_ fine and no one , no Jared is allowed to judge him for that. He is fine , he misses nothing, he needs nothing. Jensen stops his moves to catch some air and automatically looks  around for Jared. The boy is also in the water , swimming, but he  doesn't seem to be following Jensen.

Jensen turns  over  onto his back and allows himself to be carried  along by the waves, while watching the blue sky above. He hadn’t been on the beach for 2 months and he notices how much he missed the water. It seems ridiculous to be so close to  this little piece of heaven and not enjoy it every day. But Jensen is not a tourist. He works here and there aren’t so many free days where he can enjoy this wonderful place. Jared only sees the easy way of life here, the parties , the beach, and the sun. But  Jensen knows the other side. He knows what it means to fight for survival, not knowing where to sleep or getting something to eat.  That this wonderful dreamland can turn into a never-ending nightmare.

He dives back under the water , drifting back to the beach until his feet  can hit the sandy ground. He waits  until he stands securely, his waist still covered  by the water. It takes him a moment for orientation when he spots Jared , who is on his way to the rock formation not too far from  them.

“Jared!” he shouts. “Watch your step there!” He starts to wade to the boys position.

When he reaches Jared, the boy looks at him for a moment before he turns back to the rock.

“Had the feeling you wanted to be alone ..”

Jensen  wipes the water from his face “ No, it’s good ..just wanted to feel the water. You need to be careful here. The rocks are really sharp and you  aren't wearing any swim shoes.”

“ Wow!  So you don’t treat me like a dog but like a child now?” Jared pouts, not looking at  Jensen, but he  sees the anger in Jared’s eyes.

Jensen grips  the boy’s  wrist with his hands and makes Jared turn around to  face him. They stand in the water, waves  crashing around their waists,  the water sparkling  and reflecting  on their wet bodies.

“That  is not what I meant!” Jensen's voice is angry too.

He still holds the boy close to him.

“I know, it’s just…” Jared tries to turn his back again but Jensen is faster. He grips Jared’s other hand, makes him face Jensen once again.

“What?” Jared sighs.

“ I like you.. and I thought .. I… forget it.” Jared whispers, but he turns his body away once more, his eyes  reflecting the water, nearly as green as Jensen’s.

Jensen feels his heart beating, he knows what the young man is going to say, he should stop him, but he can't. He wants to shut down, wants to turn around,  but he can’t. Instead  his eyes search  Jared’s own.

“ What do you want?” _Ask_ _me_ _and_ _I_ _will_ _give_ _it_ _to_ _you_ , _just_ _ask_ _me_. 

“I want you, I know you don’t want me the same way, but I ..just for one time..

“Say it Jared.”

“Want to kiss you...”

Jared's skin is  too close to his own. He watches the pearls of water running down Jared’s body. His dark brown nipples so hard. He slowly lets Jared’s wrists go, trailing his hands up to the boy’s  neck, cradling his head gently. The water surrounds their bodies. Jared’s skin is cold, goose bumps on his arms and chest. Jensen closes the distance between them, feels his wet skin merge with Jared’s. He looks into Jared’s eyes,seeing a mixture of fear and pure lust. His lips are dark and he feels his warm breath on his face. Their hips  slide together. Jensen feels Jared’s hard cock rubbing  on his stomach. Jared takes a step back, Jensen’s arms wander down his back mapping every inch of Jared’s skin, stopping at the small of his back. He  can't take his eyes off of Jared. He hates this boy, for all the feelings he sets free, for desiring  him, for tilting his head to the side and bringing his lips closer to Jensen's. .

“Fuck!”

Jared pushes  Jensen away.

“Fuck! Shit! Fuck! ”

Pain is written clearly on Jared’s face, tears shimmering in his eyes.

“What?”

“My foot , hurts like hell!”

There is a small trail of blood coming from Jared’s foot,  and Jensen immediately sees  the cause. .

“Shit! You stepped  on a sea urchin. Be careful. First let’s get you out of the water.”

Jensen steps beside Jared, puts his arm around him and tries  to lift the weight from Jared's foot.

They both  slowly move  out of the water. Jared tries not to  put weight on his foot, but it’s not so easy this uneven ground.

 

 

They make it back to their spot and Jensen eases Jared  down on the blanket. Jensen kneels in front of Jared and carefully examines his foot. “We have to  make sure that there are no more pieces of the stinger  under your skin. Don’t want to risk an infection.“ Jared grimaces, as the pain is still overwhelming.

 

“Do you think you can walk?

“Yeah I think so. should I go  see a doc?”

“I was thinking  I'd drive you home…. If that’s ok for you?”

Jensen thought about the different options. A hospital or a doctor would charge Jared an outrageous amount of money for care. .

And he just have to look that the foot will be perfectly clean up.. So absolutely rational reasons to bring him home, _right_?

They gather their belongings and slowly walk back to the parking lot. Jensen takes  care that he  supports Jared so that he  puts no pressure on his foot. Storing everything back in the Vespa, he starts the engine and drives back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just for you’re own safety. Whenever you get stitched by a sea urchin, please always consult a doctor immediately.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry that this update took so long. First my real life is freaking hard atm and second I want to make this as perfect as possible, because I feel like this is a very special chapter. So, we get a bit more of Jensens past. 
> 
> Thank you for still supporting me and I hope you will love the update.

[](https://ibb.co/MGb94gq)

Chapter 14

  
  


They took the shortcut, on Phratamnak Road, then turned left on the winding road all the way up, along the tourist road that, at the end, would lead them to the Chumphonek Udomsak Monument. Once Kromluan Chomphonkhetudomsak (yes it’s a name) was a highly regarded soldier. He was well known, respected by his men and regarded as the founding father of the modern Thai Navy. They put this monument up to honor him on the Khao Phra Brat Hill. Today, buses full of tourists will be driven close to the Hill, walking up to his statue, just to turn their backs on him. Because the only reason they walk to this point is the stunning view you will get over nearly the whole pattayan area. And while all of them are so focused on not tripping or falling, or complaining about the gradient, no one notices the small path that leads through the high rising bamboos and palms. No huge car will be able to drive through it, but a Vespa with two young men on it certainly can. They drive deeper and deeper into the thick vegetation. Jared is curious where this “not really existing” road will lead. The only thing that doesn’t really fit is the grotesque mannequin standing in the middle of the bamboo. 

There is no head on her, just the torso, wearing a gold and red dress, with a necklace. The dress waving in the wind like a welcome greeting to the visitors.

After the next turn Jared forgets the surreal figure. 

The small path suddenly opens up and gives a view to a nice single story house. It's painted bright white with red roof tiles surrounded by deep green grass. No one would expect this wonderful cottage in this unreal surrounding.

They park the Vespa in front of the house and Jensen helps Jared as they start walking again.

“We have to walk around to the entrance.“ 

As they turn around the corner, suddenly a black chicken appears in front of them. “Tok Tok not now,  move over!” Jensen shouted to the obviously irritated chicken.

“So, you  _ do _ have a pet?” Jared snickers, but his face pales as he tries to put more pressure on his injured foot.

“No, it’s complicated.” Jensen replies as he fetches the keys out from his  jeans pocket.

“Tell me something new.” Jared snarked. He couldn’t stop grinning and together with Tok Tok they stumbled inside the house.

Jensen just shoots him a look and opens the light brown wooden door that enters into  dining room. First thing Jared notices and greatly appreciates is the air conditioning, as he is sweating like hell. Then he  takes a look at his surroundings. There was a small entrance hall that had led to the dining area . A closed door which probably led  to the second part of the house, but right now they walk through the dining over to the living room with its open kitchen area. But what really gets his attention is the huge glass door leading  from the living room to the patio.

“Dude, this is incredible!” Jared exclaims.  

There is a pool outside surrounded by sun loungers and  umbrellas. And Jared is pretty excited as Jensen opens the glass doors and leads him outside.  

 

Jensen guides Jared  to one of the loungers and he sits down gratefully. He brings his feet up and tries to examine the bottom of his own foot. The black chicken uses his chance to run around the pool and start pecking on the grass.

“Want something to drink?” Jensen  doesn't wait for an answer and moves back inside the house to the refrigerator and fetches two cold beers from it.

“Thanks.” Jared  takes the bottle and gulps down the ice cold liquid. “That’s good.”

“Ok, time for the chicken story !“ Jared demands.

Jensen puts his bottle down on the small table between their chairs, both of them watching the poultry. 

“Just one more thing.” He walks back to the kitchen , and the next time he steps outside he  is carrying a wash bin filled with water and… 

“..Umm…..  is that vinegar?” Jared  wrinkles his nose at the sharp odor.

“ Yes it is, ” Jensen confirms.  “Stop whining baby boy. The vinegar will  soothe your skin and help to dig out the stinger  if there's something remaining.”

Jared slowly dips his toe in the lukewarm water, and after a moment decides to give it a try and slips his whole foot in it.

Jensen lifts the beer and take some sips, laying back on the lounge and looks over to Jared.

“So here’s the story, it’s not even good, but you asked for it. Tok Tok belongs to our neighbor, but from day one this stupid chicken decides to escape from his coop like every time, then comes here and waits for a chance to move inside to do, well, exactly what she’s doing now. This grass must be the best chicken grass in town, believe me.“ Jensen snickers and he take another sip before he continues

„Nick hates this chicken, really, he’s freaking out every time he sees him, so he calls our neighbor and shouts  at him, but Nick at that time doesn’t know what chicken means in Thai and our neighbor pretends not to understand a word Nicks yells over the phone.  Nick tries to explain to him about the chicken as he keeps screaming. Nick complains that the chicken eats all of the seed he plants. All of this while screaming “  _ Tok Tok!  _ ” as he tries to distract the bird while he's on the phone. JD couldn’t stop laughing and Nick gets so angry that no one knows if he’s going to kill the chicken  or JD“ Jensen smiles while thinking back to this evening. „But, eventually,  he couldn’t kill either of them. And so JD buys Nick a new necklace and Tok Tok  becomes our regular visitor.”

Jared couldn’t stop laughing. His deep, warm laugh and his freaking stupid dimples set a fire in Jensen's stomach.

”Ok , so maybe the story is not so bad.” he snickers. They both finish  their beers while watching Tok Tok moving around. When she picks up a worm, they both celebrate her and cheer her on. Jensen searches the house for a  magnifying glass, and when he finally finds it, he removes the tub from Jared and starts examining the injured foot. He kneels in front of the boy and Jared suddenly has to focus on  anything other than Jensen kneeling down in front of him, fingers tickling on his feet, green orbs looking up to meet Jared’s eyes. 

“So greek foot form? Interesting. ”

“What?” Jared is confused. 

”Your second toe is longer than your big toe. It’s called greek form. Which is interesting because it's normally mostly found in Europe.” 

“My father is polish.”

“See, I can read your body just fine.” Jensen winks at Jared. 

Jared hopes Jensen’s not reading everything, as he notices his dick getting harder with Jensen’s head being a bit too close to him.

“ Yeah , wow I’m impressed.. how do you know all that st u ff?

There is a small pause in Jensen’s movement but he keeps on talking, staying focused on Jared’s foot.

“S what I learned. Well, what I had start to learn. I was studying sports medicine in Austin.” 

“ That  sounds cool. My brother is studying medicine as well, so he will be a real doctor you know.”

Jensen raises an eyebrow.

“No, it’s not that you’re not real, I meant what you do is also good,  I mean not less.. I .. so why did you stop studying?

Jared decides to switch the topic before he embarrasses himself any more.

Jensen looks up to him. And with a small sigh he releases Jared’s foot and sits down next to him while Jared bends his long legs to give him more room. Jensen rests his elbows on his thighs, wrings his hands, and his gaze darts between the pool and the patio tiles.

While at the university I met a guy, Adrian, he was 7 years older and in his last year in economy, and .. we fell in love. I was never the guy who really believed in true love you know, more  _ the having some fun _ , but with Adrian, everything was different. I looked up to him, but he never treated me like a kid. He supported me, encouraged me, loved me. 

We’d  been together for a year and  the entire time, he always dreamt about this. Leaving the states and the small minded people behind, emigrating to somewhere free and open. He dreamt about running a small hostel here in Pattaya, where  hi s grandfather was stationed.

And when he finished  his studies, we decided to  take this trip. Six weeks backpacking through Thailand, just the two of us.

After 2 weeks we landed here in Pattaya, and he fell in love with this place. We got to know some locals. Adrian was passionate and full of hope and love and energy. We stayed here the  last four weeks and finally he admitted that he wanted to stay here, there was nothing back in the states for him. And I… I was so stupid, young, and in love, I thought, that’s it, this is  _ our _ dream, this is  _ our _ future. I wanted to be his partner, and he says that he loves me, that he wants to do it with me… so… I quit. I called my parents, telling them that I won't be coming back. They couldn’t believe it, they were angry, than sad , than scared, and finally angry again. My father yelled, “If you're not  back in the next two days, there will be no home for you here…  _ ever _ again.” He said that I wasted everything they invested in me, that I would  be screwed and that Adrian would just use me, dump me in the end, and I was too stupid to see it. There would  be nothing waiting for me back there and I should never dare to contact them again. Because he knew that I would fail, he knew that I would  coming back down on my knees, but he would refuse to see me again.” 

Jensen fought back the tears in his eyes, but in the end they found their way, leaving tracks down his face. Jared just sits silently, he  knew that Jensen’s past wasn’t easy, but he never expected it to be this cruel.

“What happened?” he finally whispered. 

Jensen shrugged his shoulders.

“Guess what, I failed. “

His eyes  were damp, and his hands were red where he wrung  them with too much pressure.

“ We did this. Together. And at first it was wonderful. Adrian bought  a small hostel, and we put every second into it, painting, cleaning , finding furniture, and the first 8 months were like the best of my life. There was no free time, but we were together. We had  _ us,  _ we had this dream, our future.

And then …the first time I caught him cheating with a guest. Giving him head in one of the rooms..

_ “It was just this one time darling, I’m so sorry I was so weak _ ,, blah blah” , shit… and I believed him.. I mean what was I supposed to do..?

Then I recognized how he checked the guests out, and again I lied to myself, didn’t want to see it. .. and finally I caught him, getting fucked by this 16 year old Thai boy that brings us our clean sheets. In  _ our _ fucking bed! I just… fuck.. I just couldn’t stand it anymore, couldn’t  breathe, there was no air in my lungs but I just yelled and.. shit.. it couldn’t be possible .. not he.. not us… why the fuck did he do this, why did he just…”

Hot tears streamed  down Jensen’s face, what the hell is happening? He didn’t cry for all these years  -not one day-, why now? Jared moves behind him. He curls his huge body around Jensen's back. He says nothing, just holds him. Just comforts him, and  Jensen feels himself explode, as if everything he was fighting for all these years suddenly comes back. He leans into Jared and continues. 

“ He kicked me out .. said  that it would never have worked with me , that he didn’t need a drama queen in his life. I should run back to my parents and grow up.

And yeah there was a fun little fact. My Visa  has expired. I never thought about it as I never planned to  go back, so I would have to go to the embassy. But get this, I needed someone to vouch for me. 

I was down … on my knees, as my old man has seen it coming.

But I couldn’t call them,.. Jared I couldn’t ,  I didn’t want to see the triumph in my father’s eyes, I didn’t want to hear his _I_ _told you so_.. 

So I came back to this fucking town, didn’t know where to sleep, couldn’t go back to get my belongings, as if there were many to collect. Didn’t want to beg, no, I never would give him this satisfaction. 

Four days I slept  on the beach, with nothing but my pride.. which I left behind when I searched the trash bins for food. Jared …this land is a dream , but when you have nothing..“

Jensen fights  to stay calm, tries to keep it together, but Jared could see the horror in those beautiful, tormented green eyes.

„I knew JD just a little bit, as I knew that he was also an American making his dream come true in this city.

So on the fifth day I stood  on his doorstep at the bar and I begged. ..I begged to do  anything..  _ everything _ to get a job…to get a chance..”

Jensen has started shaking in Jared’s arms, his eyes tightly closed, but his hand finds Jared’s who still embraces him, not letting him go.

“He didn’t know me, I smelled, I had nothing to offer.. and he just.. looked at me.. grabbed the keys and brought me here, let me shower and made me a sandwich. And he listened .. just listened. In the evening  N ick got home. I  heard  them arguing and I prepared myself to leave.. and then .. they agreed to give me a chance. I can stay for the next few weeks, I will have to work at their bar every day, and prove myself to them. And I did. I worked,  slept , showered, and worked, never wanting to disappoint them. Wanting to show them that they did right by trusting me.

The pride in Jensen’s eyes is back, and they sparkle again as he finds Jared’s . 

“Guess you see me different now, what, not the super cool guy from the bar anymore?” he swipes his eyes with the back of his hands. “God why did I tell you all this ?” he whispered more to himself.

Jared takes Jensen’s hand in his own and with the other he carefully strokes his neck before he places his hand on Jensen’s cheek.

“Jensen, what makes you  believe that I would think any less of you?

You are amazing, you are strong, and I  can’t believe that some asshole treated you like this. That he didn’t see  what he had when he called you his friend. I don't think less of you, I’m  _ proud _ of you. For not giving up, for getting your ass back on track, for just being who you are.”

He places his forehead on Jensen’s. Hazel eyes   clashing with green. There is so much honesty in Jared’s eyes, Jensen gets lost. He feels Jared’s breath on his lips, feels his skin craving for the boy and when his lips touch the corner of Jared’s, he knew he lost the battle he was never supposed to win.

Soft lips finding his own, just brushing  carefully, exploring the velvet skin. A little more pressure and just the tip of a tongue wetting his bottom lip. The moment Jensen opens his lips, he feels like his heart stops beating. Tongues find each other for the first time, tasting, connecting, lapping over teeth, over the roof of his mouth.

Jared moans quietly, his blood coloring his cheeks, his lips burning with need. It feels like his first kiss ever, Jensen kisses him so soft, so slow. Those  beautiful, full lips finally connecting with his, this soft little noise Jensen couldn’t hold back, that pushes him to go for more, more tongue , more Jensen. He needs him, needs to feel their tongues battling, lips wet and red. When they finally  pull back for some air, he slowly opens his eyes to find Jensen’s dark,  blown  with passion .

“Sweet Jesus!” Jared tries  to catch his breath, his thumbs moving over Jensen’s lips. 

His brain gives  up, not able to form words. They are both breathless and can't  stop staring at each other, not until a high- pitched yell  has them moving back from each other and looking at the glass door.

“Why is this  _ fucking _ chicken back in my garden! And who the hell are you?”

Jared tries to understand three things at one time.

Why was this the best, the most wonderful,  mind blowing kiss he ever had, , why is Tok Tok  running like her life depends on it, and why for God's  sake is Beyonce yelling at him?

  
  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

[](https://ibb.co/c2cgCVp)

Jeff ends the call, puts the phone in the back pocket of his  jeans, and walks over to Matthew. 

“I’m done for tonight, you got this here?

“Sure boss, enjoy your evening.” 

The look they exchange says everything. Jeff sighs , then eventually grabs his car  keys and heads out into the night.

While  getting into his Fiat he thinks for a moment about what is waiting for him at home and if there is any way to escape it.  But in the end,  he'll have to face it. A really frustrated Nick, an annoyed Jensen, and a probably scared to death Jas..Jay.. what was his name ?

He starts the engine of the small blue car and hits the road to his execution. 

Jeff searches for his favorite Jimmy Barnes CD, inserts the disk, and skips to “Stone  Cold.”

As the piano starts, his fingertips move over the steering wheel, playing note by note. Jimmy’s voice light and smooth in contrast to the bright neon green advertisements and his declaration of love echoing against the deep basses of the clubs Jeff’ s passing by.

 

He will drive home, but no one said that he couldn’t take the detour.

While singing, he turns his car in the opposite direction and leaves the city behind. His mind wanders back to when this all started. 

 

Ten years ago , when he opened the club, he did it for  one purpose,  _money_ .

 

He was well prepared, studied the market, and found  the perfect property. Jeff knew how to pamper his contractors, calculate the prices, the acts, and the boys. Opening the market for both European and American guests. 

It had to be a success. 

Of course the start was rough, but he was also prepared for it. The other owners of the clubs avoided him, they hated the American, but Jeff was clever, smart and he was ambitious. 

After every failure, he learned his lesson, never making the same mistake twice. He was tough and strict, his employees feared him but also respected him, because in the end, he was always fair.

 

Three years later the “Boyscout” was the number one place to be. Clever advertisements were placed on all social media platforms with the best reviews. 

He was on top.

He _was_ the top.

Respected, feared, loved. 16 hours a day, working, making decisions and delegating. 

The first night he wakes up with his heart beating so fast in his chest, he thought he was  having a heart attack. It scared  the  _hell_ out of him. He was alone in his bedroom and  didn’t know what to do .

For the first time in years he just didn’t know. 

Will he die, is this the end? Cold sweat running down his face,  it took him another 10 minutes to finally place the call. The ambulance rushing to his house, the lights of the car dancing outside through his window and for the first time in more than 7 years he thinks about his mother, feeling helpless, like a child.

They drove him to the hospital, and two long hours later, after several tests and needles, a small friendly Thai with a heavy accent explains to him that his heart is fine but he was having a panic attack. 

That’s  _it_ ? Just a stupid panic attack? 

A taxi drove him home that night, and when he closed the door of his home, he went straight for the liquor.  Pouring himself a double Makers Mark, and gulping it down in one swig .

Another one follows  until he felt numb enough to excuse the tears running down his cheeks, and blames it on the alcohol. He felt stupid and ashamed, and decided to never again talk about this ridiculous night.

For the next  six months he practices this ritual until it's perfection. The anxiety builds in him, a whiskey brings the anxiety down.

Six month later, his employees didn’t respect  him, they just feared him. 

 

He became aggressive and demanding, nothing was good enough, not the drinks or the sales. 

The acts  were chosen by him and there  were many dancers and singers leaving the stage in tears.

 

On a Sunday afternoon he was done, the third wannabe Thai drag queen he yelled at had just run from  the stage. He, she, whatever, crying and  sobbing, putting her heels in her hands and cursing at Jeff.

 

That’s when he spotted Nick for the first time. He was leaning on the wall, watching the small Thai boy running past him. Nick was beautiful. Dark haired, blue steel eyes, muscled  arms with  a small waist, delicate long legs, and a smile that makes clear “ _I_ _know_ _that_ _I_ _am_ _good_ _looking_ .”

Nick looks over at the stage, back at Jeff,  then turns around and starts walking out of the bar.

 

“Hey sweety, don’t turn your back on me,  unless you really mean it. ”

Jeff puts a smile on his face.

Nick turns around and takes two steps back in  Jeff’s direction, his hips swinging with every move he makes, and he gives a final look to the stage.

“I see nothing you could offer me to stay, to waste my talent in this crap house.”

 

Jeff gets out of his chair, his eyes focused on Nick.

 

“This  _crap_ house? Who do you think you are? This house is the best on this  _fucking_ street and I decide if you’re worth it or not, and until now, you’ve got nothing but a big mouth!”

 

“And you will  never see me or my big mouth again. I’m not going to work for such a Neanderthal macho man .”

Nick turns around once again.

“ As if I  would  _ever_ give a job to a skinny `wants to be drag´ like you! You think you're  special, Honey,  there are hundreds like you just begging me to give them a chance. Just fucking get  _out_ of my club!”

 

Nick stands still, as if  frozen  on point, then slowly turns around and like a cat, without ever losing eye contact, he  glides his body in front of Jeff’s, their noses just inches apart.

 

“ _Honey_ ” he imitates Jeff,” there is  _no_ _one_ like me.”

 

Jeff doesn’t flinch , but doesn’t look away either.

 

They battle through their eyes  and no one  dares to move.

 

“I want $300 per week and 10% participation of the drink sales. I need a dressing room and a bottle of  Champagne waiting for me …cold,… with ice.”

 

“$200 , and screw the participation, and maybe I will  send you a drink after the show… ”

 

“I don’t  need your drink after my show, because there will be enough men who will gladly buy me drinks. . $280, and it’s _still_ 10 percent.

 

“$250, 5 percent”

 

“$290, and  _still_ 10.”

 

“Bitch, you wanted $280?”

 

“And now $290, and don’t forget my  Champagne.”

 

“$270 , 8 percent, and you will have to share the bottle with me.”

 

Nick places a kiss on Jeff’s cheek.

 

“Congratulation, you just hired your new star.”

 

And with that he leaves, Jeff staring dazedly after him.  

 

If they call Mariah Carey a diva, then someone needs to create a new word for Nick. And he is pretty sure that Mariah would bow before him. Four weeks later he  was the top act  at the club. The guests waited  patiently for his performance, cheered him, praised him, and Nick .. was totally worth it. The only thing that was bigger than his ego, was his passion to fight with Jeff.

 

Not one day without them shouting at each other, things like the light is wrong , the music too loud  – and now too quiet, where is my new dress, no honey, pink is not a color, it’s an attitude .

Jeff never in his whole life both hated a person so much and yet could not stop watching him at the same time.

He provoked Nick like crazy , just to send him red roses to make up, and of course his ice cold champagne after each performance.

 

They shout at each other over the stage during the practice , …and later …when Jeff fucks Nick against his wardrobe wall. 

It was rough, passionate, and the best sex Jeff has ever had.

They fight , on stage  _and_ in bed.

No one takes a step back. 

 

Till one day in September, when Jeff collapses on his bathroom floor, but this time it wasn’t a panic attack. This time, his heart stops for 15 seconds. And Nick was at his side. For 36 hours he refused to leave. He stays at the hospital, talks to the doctors, and yes, he got access to Jeff’ s room. Of course, there is a strict  family only rule for visitors, but we are talking about Nick here, so in the end,  he sits at Jeff’s bed. A cold washcloth in his hand and tears in his eyes. When Jeff wakes up, blue eyes are watching him with so much worry that his heart might stop again.

 

“Hey.” Nick’s voice is soft and he places a hand on Jeff’s forehead.

 

“Hey yourself.” Jeff didn’t recognize his own voice, so rough and sore.

 

“Don’t you dare  do this  to me again , never scare me again, you stupid silly man. ” Tears running down Nicks cheeks,  he places a soft kiss on Jeff’s pale lips.

 

“ Stop  fighting me every time, and just say that you love me.” Jeff smirks, and put his hand behind Nick's  head to get him closer and to kiss him again.

 

“I do,.. after you confess how much you love me first.” Nicks smiles.

 

“Why is everything a negotiation with you?”

 

“‘Cause you wouldn’t want it any other way, right?”

 

“Right.” Jeff takes  Nick's  hand,  “ I wouldn’t. Never. I Love you.”

 

 

 

Jeff turns the car and drives down the private street to their home. They never stopped fighting, they just changed the subjects. . They discuss the curtains, and the furniture. They argue over getting a new bed, and when Nick blows him for the first time in their new one ,Jeff silently agrees that this  was the best investment  he has ever made. . They argue about getting a pet and Nick  declares  that there will never,  ever be a time an animal will cross the entrance of the house.. well so much for that, Jeff smiles as he stops  the car in front of their home.

 

In all their time they share, in all the time they fight, there was just one night when they stopped arguing. 

The night he took a young, homeless man home, to give him food and maybe a future.

Jeff  was prepared for the fight, going through the arguments in his mind when Nick came home and yes they talked.

But it was different this time. For the first time since he met Nick, the men act nervous and  insecure. Jeff sensed that something was going on and he took Nick's  hand at one point and make him look at Jeff.

 

“Nick, what is it ? What is really going on?”

 

Nick took a moment and sighed. 

 

“ Did  you replace me Jeff? Is that why he is here?  Is that why you bring him home to us, in  _our_ house?”

Jeff eyes grow wide as he never expected to hear  those words from Nick.

He takes  both of his hands to cup Nick's  face.

 

“You listen to me very carefully now, because I fucking mean  every word.  I will  never replace  you, because there will be no one I could love more. No one. I want  _you_ and only  you for  the rest of my life. My heart is yours and will be yours forever. If you want me to tell Jensen to leave, I will do it. I just asked you to look at him, to talk to him. Nick, I trust him. I don’t know why , but I feel that he is a good kid. And he needs us, but this is going to be _your_ decision.  _You_ decide if he stays or not.” 

 

“No..” Nick looks up to Jeff, and the love he sees in those bright eyes makes him weak in his knees “..  _we_ decide.”

 

Jeff grabs  his phone and the paper bag while he gets out of his car.

 

Three messages wait for him  from Nick in the last few hours. 

 

_I’m the best fucking Beyoncé you will ever get!_

_I hate you!_

_Don’t forget the Champagne_ !

 

 

_I’m_ _going_ _to_ _kill_ _this_ _fucking_ _chicken_!!! 

 

 

_Jensen_ ’s _got_ _a_ _boyfriend_ : ) 

_Still_ _hate_ _you_!!

_Make_ _it_ _two_ _bottles_!

 

He enters the home with two bottles of ice cold Champagne and an excuse for his pure existence.

 

When he goes around and finally enters the patio, what he sees can't be real . But after believing and trusting his eyes, there was no way he could hallucinate this. 

Nick,  _his_ Nick, sits  opposite of Jensen’s boy, a chess board between them , both completely lost in the game , while Fleetwood Mac  is playing softly in the background.

Jensen is alternately watching the game and the young man next to him, while his hand is resting at the small of the boy’s  back. 

When Jared makes a move , Nick sighs  in frustration.

Jensen whispers in Jared’s ear.

 

“It’s  not wise to upset Nick.“ 

 

“So..? Nobody worries about upsetting me,“ Jared smirks.

 

“But that’s because cute boys don’t pull your arms out of your sockets when they lose. “ 

 

Nick glances over to Jensen and raises a brow. 

 

“I see your point Jensen,” Jared snickers. 

 

“So, I really suggest you  let the wookie win.” Nick growls, and Jared’s  laugh rolls deeply in the quiet night.

 

“Dude, are you really quoting Star Wars here ?”

 

Jensen shrugs his shoulders and Jared leans into him. 

 

“Now I know that  _you_ are the real nerd.”

 

“ I hate you.”

 

“No, you don’t.”

 

“ Oh for crying out loud, “ Nick shouts, “get a fucking room.  Can we now please come back to the game or I swear I will..”

That was Jeff’s keyword. 

“Hello darling!” He enters the scene, a bottle of the  Champagne in his hand, and places a kiss on Nick's  neck. He nods to Jared and Jensen whose  cheeks are turning deeply red. 

 

“I got you a glass. Jensen will you give me a hand?”

 

Jeff leaves for the kitchen, Jensen following  behind .

When they enter the kitchen Jeff gets the glasses while Jensen opens the bottle.

 

“So, ….you and the boy seem to  really like each other, right?”

Jensen place the glasses in front of Jeff, his cheeks getting red again, and he runs his hand over his mouth as he always does when he gets nervous. 

“He is nice , yeah I mean, come on look at him , he is hot as hell, but hey he is not the first guy I've hooked up with… ”

Jeff slowly fills the glasses while focusing his eyes on them and his voice is soft and calm.

“ No he isn’t.  But he is the first one you've brought  home.”

Jensen can’t give an answer to that as he know  Jeff is right. . After Adrian, every guy was toy , a challenge, and a trophy. Jared is just.. Jensen turns around, his eyes finding the tall guy who makes his stomach warm up and his mouth curve  into a smile. Jesus, why can’t he stop smiling when he sees Jared? 

“I don’t know Jeff. It .. it felt right to bring him here, I’m sorry I should have asked you first.” 

“It's  ok Jensen, honestly I’m happy for you. He seems like a nice guy and between me and you , I really think he likes you.   Don’t understand why but hey, here we are. ”

With that he takes  two of the glasses and bumps  Jensen’s shoulder slightly on his way out.

Jensen  takes the other two and sighs  more to himself  

“A nice guy who will leave in a few days…”

Jeff steps outside onto the patio. The chess match is obviously finished with Jared as the winner. 

Nick takes one of the glasses while Jeff changes the music on the player. When Elvin Bishop's  “Fooled Around” starts playing,  Jeff walks up to Nick again, his hand  softly taking the wrist of his husband, he embraces and starts to slowly dance with him. Jensen comes back to sit next to Jared.  They both  tap their glasses together and take a sip from the cold  Champagne. 

“They look gorgeous, ” Jared whispers, and Jensen  focuses his attention on the couple dancing in front of him. Jeff puts both arms around his husband, closing the distance between them, and leans his mouth close to Nick's  ear. 

“ I think I never really understood  what it had  to look like the day I brought Jensen here to us. For me, I just knew what I saw in him , but I see now how it was wrong to bring him here without discussing it with you first. ” He places his forehead  against his husbands.  

“In case I haven’t told you lately.. I love you.” Nick locks his eyes with Jeff's both sets of eyes filled with tears.

“So, just in case.. I love you too and just to make sure..” he couldn’t finish his sentence as Jeff places a soft kiss on his lips. “Yes,  ” Jeff smiles against his lips, “you be the best Beyoncé I will ever get.”

On the other side of the pool two young men sit quietly, just watching the other couple, their own bodies so close to each other. Jared feels Jensen's body heat and his cheeks flush red from the alcohol. Seeing those other two men so happy and close together,  Jared doesn’t know what to do with his arms and legs . So they sit in silence, just listening to the music.

 

_Free_ , _on_ _my_ _own_ _is_ _the_ _way_ _it_ _used_ _to_ _be_ , _but_ _since_ _I_ _met_ _you_ _baby_ , _loves_ _got_ _a_ _hold_ _on_ _me_.

His eyes find Jensen’s emerald orbs.

_I_ _can’t_ _let_ _go_ _of_ _you_ _baby_

His mind trying desperately to say something

_I_ _fooled_ _around_ _and_ _fell_ _in_ _love_

He opens his mouth, but the moment he begins to speak, Jensen interrupts him.

“Stay with me tonight?”

_I_ _fell_ _in_ _love_ , _I_ _fell_ _in_ _love_ , _yes_ _I_ _did_

“Yes.”


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

Jared is definitely not hiding in the bathroom.

 

When the night settles in, the house becomes  quiet. Jeff and Nick withdraw themselves. The two young men clean up quickly before Jensen walks to his room, Jared following closely behind. Jared explored Jensen’s  room, he'd been curious what it would look like and what it would tell him about Jensen. The older boy excused himself to take a quick shower  in the attached bathroom, leaving Jared alone and his gaze  wandering over the simple room. The queen sized bed looked  nice and comfy but would  be a challenge for the two huge guys. A small wardrobe and a sideboard, a poster of Zeppelin and one of The Who decorated the white walls. Nothing too personal, no pictures, no books. Jared feels more like he's sitting in an  Airbnb room and he wonders if Jensen’s life feels so impersonal too.  Jared's own room at home is full of crap, pictures with his friends and family, his desk with his computer, bookshelves, and magazines. He feels a  burning in his gut to think about his home, and what is waiting for him there. How is he going to talk with his parents, what will his siblings think of him? And something else nags   at him, but he pushes  the thought away. 

 

_What_ _now_?

What should  he do….? 

_No_ , _really_ , Jared panics  _what_ _is_ _he_ _about_ _to_ _do_ ?? And most importantly, fuck,  _what_ _will_ _he_ _wear_ ? He jumps off of the bed when he suddenly recognizes that he has absolutely nothing with him, shit, he's  just wearing  his fucking swim shorts! Did Jensen expect him to sleep named? Will Jensen sleep naked?? Is he ready for sex, is that what Jensen was expecting when he asked Jared  to stay the night? Jared  paces the small aisle between the bed and the wall, and he starts to sweat.

 

Get it together , he forces  himself,  be cool, just relax and sit down . He sits back again, crossing his long legs  and trying to find a way to look extremely cool, but also extremely seductive.

But the moment Jensen opens the bathroom door, a white long fluffy bathroom towel around his waist, his hair still damp and his body flushed  pink,  any coolness in Jared waves goodbye one last time and flies  out of the window.  He jumps  up, circles  Jensen, and escapes into the bathroom. Jensen was trying to talk to him but he just gives a short “my turn” and disappears.

 

That was twenty minutes ago. Jared showered and maybe danced a little bit for the steady water temperature and pressure. He took serious care of his whole body, washed his hair and scrubbed his feet, hoping  that they  wouldn’t still smell like vinegar. Then he got out, fetching one of this really comfy towels and dried  himself properly. Of course no toothbrush, so he at least  squirts some toothpaste in his mouth, scrubs it with his finger, and gargles the liquid. That was five minutes ago. He checks himself in the mirror countless times, opens the towel and rearranges  it around his waist. Just the thought of Jensen and  being so close to him  has him half hard already. He can’t walk out of this door with a boner between his legs. He  bangs his head on the wooden door. 

_Ok_ ,   _face_ _it_ , _what_ _is_ _the_ _worst_ _that_ _could_ _happen_ , 

A)  he opens the door and Jensen immediately starts laughing  at him, ..not very likely .. 

B)  he could open the door and Jensen gra bs  him, pins him  to the wall and rips the towel away, kisses him deeply and fucks him right there,  also not so likely but now he is completely hard..

C)  Jensen maybe is asleep  already?

D)  “Are you ok in there?” Jensen’s soft voice is on the other side of the door

E)  fuck

 

“Yeah , sorry I was just doing..”

“Okay, just got worried about your feet, I’ll  get us some water for the night and, as I mentioned before, I  put a shirt and some boxers on the bed. I would have given you a toothbrush, but you just stormed into the bathroom.“  Jared could practically hear the  smirk on Jensen's face. Jensen’s footsteps became quieter as he walked  out of the room. Jared peeks out of the bathroom and find the clothes Jensen has left for him. He puts the black GAP shirt on, a bit tight but okay, and the boxers  that fit just fine.

Jensen comes back and tosses  him a water bottle and as Jared  catches it, it reveals the smooth skin of his abdomen. Jensen, wearing a simple  plain white shirt and some dark silky underwear, seems to like what he sees. He tosses  back the bedcovers and they both slip under. 

Jared waits a moment till Jensen lays down on his side facing Jared and then does the same. As Jared had assumed, the bed is pretty small for both of them, leaving nearly no space between them. Jensen switches the light out and places his head back on the cushion still facing Jared. The room is pretty dark, but without any blinds on the window Jared’s eyes get used to the darkness and soon he see Jensen’s silhouette, and his face, even more beautiful when the shadows of the night surround him. 

“Thank you for this day.” Jared whispers, his own voice sounding so strange. He finds Jensen’s eyes in the darkness and even without the sun, his green eyes seem to shine. 

“Well, you’ve been stung by a sea urchin, outrun  a chicken, and nearly killed by a Tasmanian devil, so I count that as a special day in the wild!” Jensen snickers and Jared couldn’t hold back a soft laugh. Their heads moved  forward, noses touching, softly rubbing and their lips find each other. Just with light pressure and endless time they kiss. Nibbling carefully at the pink flesh, sharing their breath, …inhale, … exhale. Jared explores every  inch of Jensen’s plush, wonderful lips, kissing the corner of Jensen’s  mouth, his fingers dancing like feathers on Jensen’s cheek, playing their own love song. 

Jensen’s arm embraces Jared’s waist, his hand slowly wanders under Jared’s shirt to caress the smooth skin of his back. With all time in the world he shifts them, laying Jared on his back and arranges  himself on top of him, their lips never separating. Jared feels Jensen’s weight and he spreads his legs, lets Jensen settle between them. His cock is hard and he feels Jensen’s own arousal. A moan leaves his lips and the moment he opens his mouth, Jensen’s tongue takes the invitation and enters the moist and warm cavern. Jensen tilts his head to his side and they deepen the kiss, wet and noisy. Jared’s hand  on Jensen’s neck trying to pull him even closer,  his tongue battling with Jensen’s while a deep growl sends  shivers all over his heated body. Their dicks sliding together, Jensen hips moving over Jared’s, finding a rhythm. Jensen’s mind is out of his comfort zone, he wants everything and nothing, immediately and infinitely. 

Jensen lifts his upper body and his lips ghost  over Jared’s cheeks slowly wandering over his jawline to his neck , teeth carefully biting the sensitive flesh, lips sucking memory spots.

Jared bites his lips as he tries to prevent moaning, but when Jensen’s hand moves  under his shirt and his fingers twirl  his nipple until its hard and sensitive, he can’t  hold back. His head falls back  on the cushion and his hips  arch up into the pressure of Jensen’s. Jensen lifts Jared’s shirt and his mouth takes care of his other nipple. He sucks and laps , teeth nibbling without mercy. Meanwhile his fingers travel  over Jared’s wonderful abdomen, rounding his naval and following his treasure  trail till they reach the elastic band of his boxers. He hooks a finger under it and stops the relentless treatment of Jared’s nipple for a moment to give Jared the  chance to contradict. Then he slides Jared’s boxers down, his hard cock springs freely and he pushes his own briefs to his ankles. Laying back on the younger man, they both enjoy the overwhelming feeling of their hard dicks rocking together, precome shining on the slits. Jensen finally releases Jared’s well-used nipple  and his mouth travels back over Jared’s collarbone. He rests his head on Jared’s shoulder, his mouth open, breathing heavy, shifts his weight on his right forearm and his left hand  encircles both of their dicks. Jared’s body twitches at the sensation of the new feeling, his view wandering down to look  at the two cocks moving in Jensen’s hand , precome now dripping. He feels his orgasm  building low in his body,  he maybe should give a warning or try  to put it off. But the overwhelming feeling of  their hard, strong cocks rubbing together in  the tight grip of his lovers hands , he didn’t want to hold back any longer. 

He lifts his hips and pushes his cock in Jensen’s hand as ropes  of come paint  his and Jensen’s body, even their faces. Jensen’s eyes find  his and he climaxes immediately after Jared, moaning loudly against Jared’s mouth. He pumps them lazily a few more times before he  collapses next to Jared, still breathing unsteadily. For a moment they both just lay there and enjoy the feeling of the aftershock. They face  each other, mouths still open, but with a smile on their faces.

Eventually Jensen gets up and  goes to the bathroom,  cleaning himself and returning with a warm wet washcloth. Gliding it over Jared’s whole upper body he can’t resist and licks small kitten licks over Jared’s face, tasting him and Jared in a bittersweet mixture. Jared is already half asleep, but he enjoys the careful  treatment.  His body feels warm and  sated. Last thing he  remembers is the shifting of the mattress, a kiss on his cheek, and the secure feeling of a body next to him. 

 

 

The  next morning Jensen knows one thing for sure. All biologists lied, because there are definitely octopuses in Thailand and he finds  one of them in his bed. 

 

The last night was still fresh in his mind . He woke up a few times with  the unfamiliar feeling of a body next to him. More than once he has to remind himself that it wasn’t Adrian who was lying next to him, and when he realized it was Jared, he feels a warm,  unfamiliar feeling in his stomach. More than once he catches himself  staring at the boy who was calmly breathing next to him and  more than once he placed a soft kiss on Jared’s shoulder. The young man changes his position and when Jensen lays down again Jared automatically pulled him into his embrace, it was way too hot and too close, but Jensen enjoyed every minute. He felt  pampered and safe  on a level he  hadn't felt in years. He turns around facing Jared again. The sun is pouring  into the room, painting his tanned body in a bronze color. He slowly runs his index finger over Jared’s face, short stubble of his unshaven skin tingling on his finger. He wants to memorize  every part of this beautiful face. He wants to burn it in the back of his mind so when he  is alone, at least he will have this memory.

He notices the moment Jared wakes  up and when his eyes slowly open.  Beautiful hazel eyes try to focus and  Jensen  can't hold back a smile . “Morning orange blossom”. Jared finally wakes up enough to understand who he is and where he is and his dimples show up when he answers  Jensen. 

His response of ”Hi” is more like a whisper on Jensen’s face. Their noses touch and they just enjoy the closeness and the awakening of the new day.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 

When they leave Jensen’s room, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon rolls hit their noses. JD and Nick are nowhere to be found, but there is a note stuck on the fridge wishing them a good morning. Attached is a shopping list. They both get a mug full of the coffee and munch on a still warm roll. They  go outside, sitting on the patio and enjoy the warm sun on their bodies.

“What are your plans for today?” Jensen asks, and Jared feels the little disappointment in his stomach. He  hoped that he could spend the day with Jensen, but sure, that was selfish thinking on his part. He knows Jensen has to work and to be honest under normal circumstances he would spend his whole holiday alone anyway.

“I don’t have really a plan.” Jared shrugged. “I had planned  to rent a bike, but my feet still hurt so probably not the best idea? Maybe I’ll just head back to the ocean or get a train to Bangkok City. Tourist stuff, you know?” 

“Yeah, sounds awesome.“ For the first time Jensen doesn’t look forward to work, he didn’t like the thought of Jared going to Bangkok all by himself. Bangkok can be dangerous, at least for tourists, and he wouldn’t be the first one to be  robbed or worse. He silently had hoped that Jared would ask to join him to the club, but of course Jared wasn’t just here for him, so he couldn’t make him stay. 

“With your feet still swollen, maybe the beach is a good idea.” Jensen tries to sound cool with it and eat the rest of the sugary meal. He licks his finger and maybe, just maybe, puts on a little show when his lips suck on his long, delicate fingers one by one . 

So, Jared wants to leave?  _ then look at what you're leaving  behind, kid. _ And it fills him with pleasure, when he watches the boy from the corner of his eye. Jared can’t turn away, his  stare transfixed on Jensen lips .  _ Why does Jensen want him to leave and then play this game with him? _ But, well it’s like chess, one makes a move and the other reacts. So Jared  gets off his chair, slowly and casually, and stretches his whole body, his arms in the air so that his shirt rises and his tummy  is exposed right in front of Jensen’s eyes. He remembers a few stretching techniques and works his body. He flexes his muscles and bends himself till his hands reach his ankles to make sure Jensen will have a VIP view of his back and his ass. Out of reflex Jensen has to cup his groin, feeling his dick harden. Such a damn tease, he curses silently.  _ What’s that now _ ? _ Jared wants to leave, but first make me jealous , pff no way boy. _ It’s not like he can’t look away, but if Jared trying  to play here, Jensen is all in.  _ Don’t mess with the master of seduction, boy _ . 

So when Jared finishes his  _ “look at my oh so tall body” _ ( those one or two inches are mostly hair you know!), Jensen  acts completely unimpressed. He tosses his shirt over his head, lays back on the deck chair, and spreads his legs. Slowly he lets his fingers wander  over his own body, takes his time to work the knots on his neck and then moves his hands down his upper body. Jared just stands there in the sun watching Jensen as he touches himself, following Jensen’s fingers as he massages his  tight muscles up his body, finally reaching his sensitive parts. When Jensen opens his eyes he can't suppress the little victory smile, as he watches Jared, unable to move or to look away.  _ Does he drool? Yeah I bet he does!  _  Jensen’s ego rises and he locks his eyes with Jared while gently stroking his dick through his boxers with one hand, the other moving up and pinching one of his nipples. He knows  he's won, no way Jared can top this … until… Jared does .. and Jensen’s eyes go wide….  _ Jesus fucking Ch _ .. His dick filled immediately and the sound leaving his mouth wasn’t planned, while he watches Jared start taking off his clothes. Standing in front of him, naked like nature  made him, Jared faced Jensen with a devilish grin. Then he turns around, takes two steps to the pool and with a look back over his shoulder he winks to Jensen. “Check mate!” And jumps into the pool. The water was cold but he  barely notices, too much adrenaline rushing through his body. He giggles underwater.  _ Oh fuck what have I done? Oh shit, oh shit, this is crazy. _ He dives to the bottom of the pool and swims to the other side. His heart is still beating way too fast but he feels so alive, so full of energy. He has to pop up, breaking the surface and he inhales deeply. Due to his size he can stand secure, even in the deepest part of the pool. When he wipes his eyes with his palm to get the water out of his face, he senses the movement under him. Just before he’s  pulled back underwater and feels strong arms keeping him there. He struggles with Jensen and pushes him back down , both of them coming out of the water breathing heavily. They play like silly little kids, laughing, necking, water splashing, hands fighting and bodies rubbing until Jensen corners  Jared at the end of the pool. “Think I won.” Jensen presses Jared against the pool tiles, both are able to stand with their shoulders above the water. “ You’re cheating, don’t think I give in that easy!” Jared giggles back when Jensen poking fingers into his ribs. “Just surrender, and let me have my prize,” Jensen grips Jared by his waist without any effort due to the water. Out of instinct Jared  opens his legs and wraps them around Jensen’s naked body. The older man feels his dick harden and press against Jared’s ass as he brings their body’s closer together. Playtime stops and he kisses the younger man with passion, biting his lips, licking, lapping, his hands on Jared’s neck and head to bring him impossibly closer. He pins Jared’s upper body on the pool edge, his mouth caressing his strong  jawline. 

Jared lets his head fall back. He is lost and he loves it. He opens his eyes and sees the dark blue heaven above them, feels the sun, burning on his face and hears the water  lapping around them. He is so hard he might explode and gives a fucking damn what happens next, what anybody will think of him. He moans, load and obscene, his mouth wide open, his tongue licking his own lips like a fucking porn star. He surrenders his body to Jensen knowing that he will take care of him. 

Jensen isn’t sure if he will come untouched just by watching Jared falling apart. This boy in his arms is full of lust and trust. He let his hands wander down Jared’s back, his legs still wrapped around Jensen’s hips. His fingers slowly discovering Jared’s buttocks. With his eyes still on Jared’s face he circles Jared’s hole for the first time and he holds his breath while he breaches  the sensitive ring of muscle with his finger tip. He slowly pushes his finger deeper, watching Jared’s reaction. When he starts to move his finger, Jared’s eyes seem to roll back in his head, his moans are loud and deep, and it sets a fire inside Jensen he can't believe. He’d sell his soul just to see this young man coming apart because of what he’s doing to him. Jensen carefully adds a second finger and starts to curl them, pushing inside Jared and searching for the sweet spot he knows will  break him apart. When his fingers eventually find that bundle of nerves, Jared’s head shoots up. “Fuck.. oh my god, fuck”, his whole upper body comes up, Jensen holding him with one strong arm around his waist and his legs tightening even more around Jensen as he feels the pressure of Jensen’s fingers inside him. He rides them, waves of precome leaking out of his cock while he pushes down on Jensen’s fingers. Adding a third finger, Jensen increases the speed, kissing Jared, pushing his tongue inside his mouth and his fingers inside Jared’s hole, he feels powerful, rubbing mercilessly over Jared’s prostate. “ You feel incredible, look at you, so hungry for my fingers, fuck can’t get enough of them” Jensen whispers roughly, his own arousal overtaking him. “Gnnh , fuck don’t stop, please don’t stop!” Jared puts his arms around Jensen, holding tight, his dick rocking between them “Never stop, all for you, come, show me how much you want it, scream for me, come for me, yes!” Jared is a whining mess in Jensen’s embrace, his hole  full with Jensen’s fingers, and this incredible feeling overtaking him. He squeezes his eyes shut , screaming in Jensen’s ear while his orgasm overwhelms him. His head falls on Jensen’s shoulder, the water cooling his overheated face. He feels kisses placed under his ear, down his neck, and Jensen holding him while his body goes limp. The water surrounds him and he feels completely secure and so wonderful exhausted. For a while they don’t move,  holding each other, carried away by the water and the sensation of feeling the warm body of the other man. When his ears stop ringing and his surroundings becomes real, Jared lifts his head and kisses Jensen’s lips, swollen and light blue from the water. “That was .. I don’t know what to say,” Jensen kisses him back with a smile on his lips. “ Then don’t say anything.” 

Jensen suddenly feels pressure around his cock when Jared’s hand comes  down and begins stroking Jensen's still rock hard cock. . Jared turns Jensen till he is pinned against  the pool tiles, both standing now but Jared puts his weight on Jensen’s body, completely covering him. “You  are so beautiful Jensen.” Jared increases the pressure and Jensen closes his eye and lets himself go. To hear  someone call him beautiful makes him uncomfortable, but out of Jared’s mouth it sets a warm feeling free. He enjoys this, doesn't hold back, and just a few strong strokes from Jared is all it takes to have him shooting ropes of come between them. He pulls this young boy back in his embrace and inhales his scent,  his face buried in Jared’s neck. There is something on his mind , words that would love to be spoken aloud and Jensen is shocked when he recognizes them, swallowing and pushing them deep down.

After awhile they loosen their embrace, and swim a little more to relax their muscles. When they get out of the pool and dry their bodies , Jensen knows that the break is over and his everyday life is back. “ So, shall I gave you a ride and leave you at the beach then ?”  And here they are at the same place once again. “I need to shop for the supplement for JD and then head back to work, so I guess that leaves you having the fun day. “ He smiles at Jared and hopes that his face isn’t betraying him. “ Jared stares out over the pool, chewing on his lips. His cheeks are lightly red when he speaks. “Or …you can drop me off my hotel, where I finally can change my clothes and I show up at the bar later.. if that would be ok  with you?” Jensen steps closer to Jared, sharing the same view. “I would like that very much.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, let me thank you for your patience and for your lovely support. I try to update sooner , big big promise here. Two more chapters are already written. And as always, comments are my fuel. Thank you .

[](https://ibb.co/ZxJzJKt)

Coming back to his hotel room feels kinda strange. He left 24 hours ago, but it seems like a lifetime. 

If Housekeeping took care of the room, they knew that he hasn’t slept here last night. But honestly he doesn’t really care. Jared drops himself on his bed and his mind wanders back to the morning. Waking up next to Jensen, it was so peaceful and when he closes his eyes, he still feels their bodies   lying close together. And then there was the sex in the pool,  God  he still feels a bit sore, but it was so good. He remembers Jensen’s finger. When his finger slowly pushed  inside him for the first time, Jared’s heart raced. And when he entered him, it was electrifying. If Jared had any doubt that he would  like to bottom, Jensen proved it to him, when he pushed the third finger inside him and fucks Jared like he means it. If this was just so amazing, how would it feel to  really have sex with Jensen? Eventually, he rolls slowly from his bed  to search his duffle for something nice to wear. A new pair of jeans and this soft rose-colored shirt. He checks his phone and knows Jensen will be busy with shopping, so maybe he can do a bit of his own in the meantime. 

He leaves his room and follows the Main Street, back from the beach and more into the city. He still  isn't used to the amount of dirt, traffic, and noise. He is not a farm boy so he knows street traffic and crowds but this here is living, breathing chaos. Three Vespas rushing behind him, someone is permanently honking, and the smell of the running diesel trucks nearly makes him sick . He tries to see what Jensen sees in this city. What did he and Adrian feel when they decided to stay?

A stray dog is limping his way and stops to see if Jared may have  something to eat. Jared immediately feels guilty, but when the dog notices that there is nothing he can get from Jared, he slowly starts walking again. 

Maybe this is what every place becomes when you really open your eyes. As a tourist when you come to a new place you just recognize the highlights.

Polish, shining, perfect.

You see the beautiful in every spot. And you will  get what you know. Get your cold Coke, your hot Starbucks, some random Burger King . Everything to make you feel safe, to make you feel like home.

You even find the same stupid souvenirs in every spot. The funny „when drunk bring me home to..“ shirt . The fridge magnet that looks like a donut, and the postcard with five women presenting their asses on the sand. But when you  see beneath this fake veneer, you see the real life. You smell the honesty in the streets and the cruel truth. Jared stops and suddenly he understands.

Every city has it's  ugly face . The thing is if you are used to it or not. Back home there are places as well that he didn’t visit by night. There are places behind the Olive Garden on  Second Street and the CVS on Lincoln Road , everyone knows not to go unless you want to get in trouble, or high as a kite. 

 

So is this face of the city better ? How can he judge if the people here live worse than Jared did? How can he assume that the people here aren’t happy? Jared stops  suddenly . Opens his eyes and lets the city into his heart. Sees the two children playing catch and laughing and giggling . The three women with bags of fruits and veggies who were chatting while passing him  by. And the man on the  souvenir stand who talks on the phone,  his desperate look reminds him of Jared himself when he is sometimes talking with his mother. The dog who was  trotting behind him finds a shady place under a car, lying there completely relaxed and peaceful. It’s not the city - it’s Jared’s  view that changes on this dirty asphalt on this day.

So he walks up to the fruit stand and gets one of those local fruits he hears about and sees everywhere, some bottled water, and two magnets for his  Mom, just because.

 

After nearly  two more hours, just wandering through the streets, he finds himself back at the beach. The wind is blowing through his hair and he smells the salt  of the ocean and tastes it on the tip of his tongue. He didn’t fall in love with this city , but he got comfortable.

 

**************************************************************

 

„It’s step left, there forward stop, hips hips , left, Vogue.“ 

Nick really tries to sound nice .

He just yells at the end. It’s a good day and everyone would say his mood is kind  of relaxed, for Nick. Jensen can’t hold back his smile while he cuts the limes in perfect quarters. The  dancer rehearsing for an hour, they are good and motivated, but Nick will force them to be perfect. He just doesn’t accept anything less. 

„And we start from the beginning. Darlings,  your hips are for swinging not for a stampede, gosh!“

JD is sitting in the third aisle , watching the lights and  adjusting the volume of the music. He once tries to help Nick, to give some good advice .. he will never make that mistake again. 

He writes down some instructions for the tech crew. 

By this time it's the middle of the day, everyone is occupied with the preparation for the evening. It’s a routine he really enjoys. You never know what will happen in the evening. Some drunken assholes. A dramatic breakup. Puke or other things to be taken care of. But during the day, he has control over everything. Well ,  nearly everything. 

 

Giving his notes to the young man he hired six months ago, he leaves to head to the bar. He gives one last look  at Nick, who was rolling his eyes at the „elephant steps“ his dancer number 4 produces- Yeah Nick really was in a pleasant mood. 

 

Jensen finishes  the limes, packs them carefully away, and starts cleaning the surface of the bar. 

„Where’s your boy?“ JD asks . 

It’s Jensen’s turn to roll his eyes. 

„He is not my boy JD, and he can do what he wants. It’s not like we are glued together “ the words left Jensen harder  than he planned. 

„ Wow. Sorry if I overstepped?“  JD defense himself. He corners the bar  to step closer to the young man in front of him. 

„Hey, I meant what I said yesterday. I think he is nice and you seem happy with him. It’s not bad to feel happy Jensen, you are allowed to enjoy this.“

JD stares at Jensen as if  trying to make his words more meaningful.

„JD,  look, I know what you mean. And i get what you  told me yesterday. But let’s be honest , this“  and he gestured between himself  and the empty room

„this isn’t going to work. Yes he is nice, no, he is  gorgeous , but we live in two different worlds.  Like  literally two different continents. Do i enjoy my time with him?  Yes I do. But he will leave in a couple of days and then,“ and Jensen really tries to stay calm , 

then he leaves me, then he goes back in his world , then he will break my heart , but instead all of this he says „it’s over!“ 

„Do what you think is right, Jensen.“ JD looks serious when he speaks „i can’t tell you  the right decision. But I've watched you Jensen . And if you really wanna tell me you don’t care for Jared,then you're lying  to yourself“. 

„So i care for him, fine.“ Jensen snaps.

„Then tell me JD, what does it change?  What JD ? He is here for his holidays! He leaves and then who cares what I  feel ?“

He throws the dirty dishcloth into the sink, puts his hands on the counter, shifts his weight, and let his head hang down. 

Jeff steps upbeside him,  placing his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. 

„Jensen, i don’t want you to get hurt. Believe me, that’s the last thing i  want. If you want to keep your distance.. then do it.. but maybe you should start  right now. Because honestly, all I see is that you're falling hard for him and he for you. So when you really think that this will lead  to nothing but pain.. then maybe you shouldn’t see him again.“

Jeff's  words cut him like a knife . And it slowly twisted in his heart. He knows he should stay away, but  can he? He feels like a moth and Jared is his flame. 

The  flame that will kill him in the end.

Jensen sighs, maybe he really needs to talk to Jared . End it right here and now, before Jared gets hurt. 

Because for him, it’s too late.

 

They are interrupted by Nick, who walks, no  hovers  over to them. 

„Well, they need training, like a lot , but I guess I will be able to show them how it’s done.“ Nick gets himself a water and stands proudly beside his husband . JD doesn’t dare to blink. Was  this a compliment out of Nick's mouth? He watches his lover carefully from the side .

„What  are you looking at ??“ Nick yells at him and JD starts to relax. 

„ God these shoes are killing me , this bitch told me they fit , i am going to show her what fits ..“

JD is smiling now and puts his hand around Nick.

„I bet you will darling“

„so where is your boyfriend Jensen?“

And again, Jensen  rolls his eyes

„Nick please don’t , i just got the talk  from JD and i don’t want to discuss my life and my decisions with you right now, ok? “

Nick looks at him with a confused  expression.

„Darling, i have no idea what you're talking about, i just wanted to know what you two idiots did that made Jared leave  immediately after entering the bar a few minutes ago. And if you said something rude to him, I’m gonna smash your pretty ass. ‘Cause I love this boy, are we clear !?“

The knife in Jensen’s heart has been ripped out without mercy. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains violence , abuse and attempted rape. If you don’t feel good about it, please don’t read it, or skip the first part . I mark it for you *******.

Stupid!  
You are so fucking stupid!  
The second shot of tequila burns his throat. This ... all this was a stupid idea.  
Going on this vacation. Forget everything. Stupid Jared. Stupid heart beat in his chest. Stupid feelings.  
His arm waves for a third shot. Dollar bills exchange hands. Drinking is stupid.  
He knows he will regret it. But, hey, he is stupid so go fuck yourself.  
Jared doesn’t really know where he is or how he ended up in this crowded bar.  
He remembers walking into JD’s club, watching Nick rehearsing on the stage with some dancers . They exchange a quick look and then his eyes fell on Jensen. And his heart skips a beat. Jensen's gorgeous back is facing him. A smile is on Jared's face when he steps closer.  
Then he notices that Jensen is deep in conversation with JD.  
First he doesn’t realize that he is the topic of the discussion .  
And then he hears those words, coming from Jensen’s wonderful lips:  
„This won’t work ... We live in two different worlds... And then...it’s over.“  
Stupid .. stupid to think there is more to him and Jensen .  
How could he ever believe that there was a chance for them?  
How could he ever think that Jensen sees more in him then just a quick fun in the sun adventure? How could he be so naive? How could he allow himself to feel more?  
Immediately he turns and leave the club.  
Quite, ashamed, and  
Stupid.  
He walks through the streets. Everything in him feels numb and his surroundings are just a big fog. He doesn’t notice where he is walking, doesn’t care if he pushes other people out of his way. He just wants to feel nothing.  
No shame to be such a fool, no hurt ‘cause he always cares too much, always feels too much.  
Sandy's voice is in his head, she always told him that’s one of his weaknesses. „Jared, you cannot love everyone, you cannot trust everyone. You let yourself become so vulnerable.“ Keep your distance.  
But Jared is stupid, so he didn’t listen and now here he is, raising a shot to himself. Salut for Jared and his fucking stupid heart.  
The alcohol does its job. He feels a bit lightheaded and dizzy. He really should stop, but this is ‘stupidJared’ so here we go! He doesn't remember ordering the next shot, but it goes down as smoothly as the others. His surroundings become more and more blurred and he start to have problems to focus. People and voices are everywhere, pressing against him. Arms are close to him. Does he walk? The music is fading, but he can’t focus anymore. Fingers are under his shirt and the room is spinning.  
There is a voice close to his ear moaning. Whispering. It’s dark ... should it be dark?  
„Hello again, pretty boy.“ the voice is familiar, with an heavy accent and way too close. More hands are over him, holding him.  
He feels sick.

Not good  
This feels wrong.  
The darkness is not right.  
„Come on pretty boy. Open your mouth.“  
Fingers pressing against his lips.  
No  
Stop  
His hands are over his head. Fixed, unable to move. He feels pressure on his dick.  
No, everything is wrong .  
Dark .  
Stop!  
He panics, start to move, to get away, but he is fixed to the wall.  
„Hey pretty boy, we just wanna have some fun. Be nice and you’ll like it.“  
„N n no.“  
Jared tries to make a sound, but his mouth feels like it’s full of cotton. His head is spinning and his stomach feels cold.  
„Hold him.“  
He feels his arms gripped tighter, his shirt is lifted, and more fingers roam over his body. A hand is on his pants, his zipper is opened.  
„Relax sweet boy. Come on, don’t fight this. Such a tiny ass.“  
Fingers are forced in his mouth and suddenly Jared snaps.  
He fights with everything he has. He notices the darkness is because his eyes are closed and feel heavy. So with the little strength he has left he tries to open them. He screams at the finger in his mouth and then he bites with full force, until the copper taste of blood fills his mouth.  
„You crazy bitch!“ someone shouts.  
He feels a slap to his face, and his head is smashed into the wall. The force of the blow makes him see stars, and that's when the fierce nausea hits.  
He throws up.  
That makes his torturer step back. Hit by the vomit, they swear and start to back away, but not without one last blow to his upper body  
„Lame pussy couldn’t even hold his liquor.“  
„Leave him. I don’t want him puking on my dick.“  
He is suddenly free and without thinking he is up and running. Stumbling and staggering and without any direction he just keep running. He only stops when he needs to empty his stomach for a second time .  
He spits a few times till nothing is left in him.  
He closes his pants and rearranges his shirt. He doesn’t stop walking and is trying to ignore the tears that keep running down his face. After what feels like an eternity, he smells the ocean, and sees the beach in front of him . He walks till his feet hit the sand, then he allows his knees to give out . Jared sinks boneless down on the sand and cries, his sobbing sounds taken away by the wind and the sounds of the sea.  
************************************************************ Jared has no idea how long he sits there in the sand.

He just stares at the waves. His mind tries to process what has happened, but Jared isn't ready to remember.  
He thinks of Jensen and fresh tears start falling down.  
Maybe this is what he deserves?  
For the feelings he has. For the love he feels for another man. For cheating on his girlfriend... for treating Chad ...  
He just wants to be happy. Is that really too much to ask?  
He just wanted to be loved. He didn’t ask for the feelings he has for Jensen, but he doesn’t know how to stop them.  
His jaw hurts and his lip seems to be split. And his soul is bleeding.  
But he makes a confession on this beach.  
Nothing will break him. Nothing will change who he is and what he feels. He will stop pretending.  
He accepts what he is.  
And if this means he will be punished, then that’s the way it is.  
If Jensen doesn’t love him, he'll accept it. But he will not deny his feelings. Never again.  
Jared stands up and tries to orient himself. When he sees familiar buildings he starts walking and fifteen minutes later he enters his hotel. He takes the stairs to his floor and gets the keycard out of his pocket. He frowns a moment when he steps out of the stairwell and sees someone laying on the floor. Too close to his room. The last thing he wants to handle right now is a drunk .  
But when he reaches his room he stops.  
The person laying with his back against Jared's door is Jensen. And before Jared can react, Jensen opens his eyes.  
He sees Jared and his green eyes turn from tired and red-rimmed to angry, to horrified. „Jared , God what happened?“ Jensen stands up in a flash and stares at Jared’s bruised face.  
Jared turns his face away.  
„S nothing. I just wanna go to sleep.“  
„Jared you’re bleeding. Who did that? Who hurt you? “  
You is what comes to Jared's mind. But he keeps his mouth shut.  
Jensen tries to reach for Jared’s face, but the younger man turns his head away. Jensen gently places his hands around the back of Jared's neck.  
„Jared, please let me look at this. If you want me to leave I will, I promise, but let me clean these cuts first.“  
Jared sighs and steps away, but when he opens his door he steps back to let Jensen come inside.  
Jared goes straight to the bathroom. He needs to piss and after he’s done washing his hands, he looks at himself in the mirror. His lip is swollen and split. There is a cut under his eye and his skin is starting to turn purple. His eyes are red and swollen. His shirt is covered

with dark spots that are probably blood. He has no idea if it is his own or from the stranger he had bitten. He thinks back on the brutal attack and he has to throw up again. Jensen is suddenly behind him. Holding him while Jared's stomach tries to push out the last bit of liquid that is still inside him.  
„It’s ok. I got you.“  
Jensen tries to calm Jared but it’s too much. Jared can’t stand his voice so close to his ear. Can’t stand the hand that holds him and he wiggles out of Jensen’s embrace.  
„Let me ..don’t touch me..“ his voice higher than normal and sounding hurt and vulnerable like he's never been with Jensen before.  
„Just go and leave me alone.“  
„Jared please, let me look at you!“  
„Why? Just leave me, you don’t want to be here . So just go.“  
„Hey“ Jensen carefully cradles Jared's face in his two hands. „Jared listen, I'm here right? I want to see you! Shit I looked for you everywhere. Why do you think I spent the last hour in front of your fucking door?! Because I care! Fuck Jared! I care about you and it scares the hell out of me. But please, this is not about me. If you want me to go I swear I'll go, but please let me look at your face first.”  
Jared looks into Jensen’s pleading eyes.  
He so wants to believe him. And he is too tired to fight.  
“Okay,” Jared says.  
It’s more like a whisper, but it’s enough for Jensen.  
„Thank you.“  
He makes Jared sit down on the bed and walks to the bathroom to get a wet towel .  
Jensen sits next to Jared on the bed and cleans the cuts carefully. The cold towel on his skin and Jensen’s soft touch makes Jared forget his wounds for the time .  
But there is still one in his heart.  
Jensen watches Jared. It hurts so much to see him like this. Jensen has no idea what happened, but he has a feeling inside that he wants to make someone pay for this.  
After the shock that Jared had been at the club , obviously hearing what he said to JD, Jensen became restless. He tried to stay calm on the outside. He hoped that maybe Jared had just forgotten something and would be back. But after an hour and no sign of Jared, Jensen feels a need to find Jared. He doesn’t know why, he just needs to get to him. The bar is crowded and he knows JD will be pissed, but Jensen searches for his mentor. When he spots him, Jensen hesitates a moment, but then he walks straight to JD.  
„I need to find him!“ Jensen doesn’t even try to come up with a lie.  
„Then why are you still here?“ JD asks with a wink.  
Jensen was prepared to argue with JD, even to offer to work double shifts for the next month. Now he just looks at JD with big, open eyes.  
But JD just hold his stare. And Jensen gets it. With a soft nod and a thank you on his lips, he walks out of the Club. He has absolutely no idea where to look for Jared but all he knows is that he needs to find him. He walks the streets looking out for a huge, tall boy with floppy hair, but he can't find him. Panic was rising in Jensen’s stomach and the need to get to Jared grows stronger. Eventually, Jensen finds himself in front of Jared's hotel and he enters the lobby. After an intense talk with the receptionist (and maybe a few bills passed over) he was given Jared’s room number. So Jensen steps out of the elevator and knocks on Jared's

door. His heart was racing and he was on the edge of panic. He just knew, he had a bad feeling, and he needs to talk to Jared , to see for himself that the boy is alright. But no one opens the door and after a while Jensen is sure that Jared isn't there .  
Exhausted, Jensen slips down on the floor and rests his torso against Jared's room door. He screwed up. Jared is out there probably making new friends and they are drinking, laughing, having fun, and Jensen feels like a fool.  
That was exactly he was afraid of. That’s why he swore to never let someone get close to him again. He should have let Jared walk away when he first showed up. He should have told him to go and that he didn't want to see him again. He should have hardened his heart when Jared's eyes pleaded with him to give them a chance. And now he sits here on a dirty hotel floor waiting for Jared to let him know that this boy has turned his world upside down. And even if he leaves tomorrow, then Jensen will have at least one more night. He finally realizes that he doesn’t care anymore how much it will hurt, he doesn't give a damn about his pride if it means seeing Jared one more time and making sure that he is okay.  
He leans back and closes his eyes. The tension leaves his body and he feels exhausted. Jensen has no idea how long he stays on the floor when he hears a movement next to him. When he opens his eyes he sees Jared, tall and beautiful above him. Jensen feels relieved and a little jealous wondering where he had been. Then he let his eyes wander over Jared's face and he is on his feet in a heartbeat.  
He still has no idea who hurt Jared and the thought that someone obviously hit Jared makes Jensen growl .  
He is not an aggressive person by nature, and he always believed that a fair and good argument can solve most problems, but when someone hurts a person he cares about, there is a side of Jensen you don’t want to see.  
Once in Jared's hotel room, he sits on the bed facing Jared and brings the towel carefully to his face.  
He tries to focus on the cut and not on Jared’s hurt expression . Jensen hates that look on Jared. And he swear to himself to do everything to make those sad eyes disappear.  
His fingers examine the wound.  
„It’s going to hurt, but I don’t think that you need stitches. Try to keep it iced so that the swelling won’t be too much“. His eyes travel down to Jared’s split lip and he runs his tongue over his own lips automatically. Jared’s hazel eyes are shining from unfallen tears that he tries to hold back.  
„Thank you“ Jared whispers, his own hand reaching for Jensen's face.  
Jensen notices the motion and takes Jared’s hand in his own . He brings their fingers together and holds them tight, like a lifesaving string.  
„Jared we need to talk,“ Jensen speaks soft, but firm .  
„I .. I know today.. that you were at the Club. I don’t know what you heard but mmh...  
Jared is surprised by his own courage .  
He still holds hands with Jensen, but as he starts to talk , Jared acts. He put his other hand on Jensen’s neck and pulls him close to him and kisses Jensen roughly.  
„Don’t wanna talk,“ he mumbles through their connected lips.  
It’s the first time Jared has reached for Jensen, longing for a kiss, and Jensen is taken by surprise . His first reaction is to move back, because he really wants to talk to Jared first. He needs to make Jared sees that this is more for him than just a holiday fling. He needs to

make sure the boy understands what he does to him. And he still needs to know what happened to Jared last night.  
It takes all of Jensen willpower to break the kiss but his lips are still close to Jared’s . Like butterfly wings his lips fly over Jared’s when he speaks again.  
„Jared I need you to understand, please ...”  
“No” Jared stands up from the bed. He doesn’t want to talk , he doesn’t want to hear Jensen explaining to him why this will not work between them. And he definitely doesn’t want to talk about what has happened to him .  
“I don’t wanna talk. I`m tired Jensen. I`m ..”He stares out of the window, making a decision on his mind, he nods to himself and comes around the bed . He takes off his shirt, shoes, and pants , tossing them on the floor like he just doesn't care. “I`m going to sleep. If you want to leave.. its ok.”  
With this he slides under the blanket, flat on his stomach and face buried in the pillow away from Jensen and the door.  
Jensen slowly rises up from the bed. A mix of emotions is running inside him. He looks over Jared, his eyes wandering over his body. Then he walks to the door, turns the knob to open it. The hard light from the hallway shines into the room.  
He told him to go, right? He wants to be alone..? He doesn’t want to listen..  
Just go, step outside and leave him. Nothing happened yet.  
Jensen looks over his shoulder, seeing Jared, the floor light shining on his back.  
The door closes silently.  
Jared holds his breath, and new tears leave his eyes, silently running over the tip of his nose, falling on the pillow.  
There is a quiet noise behind him, and he hears clothes falling on the floor. Movement next to him and a warm body laying down. A kiss is placed between his shoulder blades, but no more touching.  
“Good night Jared.”  
And Jared exhales and close his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggeld with this chapter. It was very hard for me to write it Re re write it a lot. I feel the need to warn you, please never under no circumstances drink too much , And always keep a look at your drinks. Mum voice out. Take care.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m on my way to Italy to JIB. I am nervous to see the boys and be able to give Jensen and Jared a hug for real. But I wanted to give you the next update before I leave. Enjoy!

Chapter 20  
  
_Twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six…_ _  
_Jared’s eyes move over Jensen’s face. Jared has been  awake for fifteen minutes now.  
 _Twenty-seven, twenty-eight…_  
His headache is bouncing around in his temples and he's still trying to will the nausea down.  
 _Twenty-nine, Thirty …_ _  
_When everything rushes into his brain, when all the memories come back, he wants to get up when he feels arms holding him. He starts to push away, then he feels movement behind him and remembers. Jensen is laying behind him, so he carefully turns around, facing him.  
Jensen is still sleeping, quietly snoring, and God he looks so peaceful. Jared watches his long lashes, the nostrils of his nose moving with every breath he takes, lips pink and full, just a little open. He stayed with him , he held him during the night. Why would he do this if he  didn't care?  
Thirty-one, thirty-two…  
Jared wants to freeze this moment, if there is a heaven out there, this would be his perfect place.  
Aside from the memories, crawling in his mind like dark shadows, he never felt this safe. His fingers move  above Jensen’s skin. He doesn’t want to touch him, he wants to let him sleep as long as possible. He feels the warmth of Jensen’s body, close to his fingertips as he slides them slowly, just millimeters above Jensen’s arm.  
The warmth inside himself he can’t describe, like a fire starting above his stomach and spreading out to his whole body. He knows how he felt  when he was with Sandy, he knows that he had feelings for her, cared for her, and desired her. But this, __this is so much more. How can you feel something so strong  for a person you just met?  
  


The movement of Jensen’s eyelids increases, Jared sighs quietly. His fingertips wander over Jensen’s hand and he connects them together. Like last night. And when Jensen finally opens his eyes he gives him a shy smile.

  
“Hey.” 

Jared waits until he feels that Jensen is fully awake and recognizes his surroundings.   
Jensen blinks a few times, takes it all in, and meets  Jared’s eyes.   
“Thank you for staying.” Jared whispers.   
“Thank you for letting me.”   
Jensen feels Jared’s hand  in his and brings them together up to his mouth to kiss Jared’s knuckles. He keeps them joined and toggles them under his blanket, moving closer to Jared, and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.   
“How do you feel?” he asks attentively, eyes watching him.   
“Like I battled with a bear and he won.”   
Jensen tugs again on Jared’s hand, pulling the boy on top of him, while he never loses the contact of his fingers.   
His other palm strokes Jared’s cheek.   
“I was so scared  for you.” Jensen’s voice is hoarse.    
“It was ..scary…”   
“Should have been there for you..”   
“Shouldn’t have run away..”   
Jensen’s hand moves behind Jared’s head, bringing their foreheads together.    
“Will you please let me have my moment of guilty conscience?”   
Jared stares into emerald pools, wet with moisture.    
“No.”   
Lips finding each other.   
“I have a surprise for you, well I had ..” Jensen couldn’t finish his sentence when Jared sits straight up, big hazel eyes watching him.   
“What is it?”   
“The object of a surprise is that you don’t know what it is.”   
He smacks Jared’s ass playfully to get him up, and maybe to prevent himself from doing something totally different because having Jared in his lap.. nope , not helping.   
“Come on, let’s get showered and then we will have breakfast, something tells me you really need some bacon and eggs.” `And coffee for me` he adds to himself.   
Jared pouts, but slowly moves up.   
“Don’t give me that look, shower first, because honestly ? You smell like you really had a fight with a bear.”   
Jensen holds his breath, was it too soon to be this normal? He really needs to know what happened last night, but he felt so relieved to see the happiness coming back into Jared’s eyes. He couldn’t ruin the moment.   
He lets Jared use the bathroom first and text with JD, giving  him a short update on last night, leaving out the bruise on Jared’s face and his plans for today.  He feels relieved when he gets a short message back from him with a thumbs up. And he is embarrassed by the next message from Nick, only with a peach and an eggplant symbol.   
When Jared opens the door of the bathroom, Jensen sends a silent curse to Nick. Jared’s hair still damp, his eyes looking at him from under his bangs, chewing on his bottom lip and a towel around his waist. It’s like the perfect porn script, right in front of his eyes.   
Jensen slowly closes the distance between them, cupping Jared’s face with his palms, and places a soft kiss on his lips. He is about to turn and step into the bathroom when Jared reaches for him. He crosses his arms behind Jensen’s neck and leans  back on the door frame, keeps on kissing Jensen, hazel eyes finding green. Sucking on Jensen’s bottom lip before he gives them a moment, catching their breaths. He watches Jensen, drinking in every inch of his beautiful face, swollen red lips, and shining eyes.

“ Trying to count them.” Jared whispers against warm skin,  a finger stroking over Jensen’s cheek, following his brown -golden freckles.   
Jensen’s eyes never leave Jared’s when he removes his pants. Naked and vulnerable he closes the distance again. Hungry for Jared’s mouth he brings their lips together, licking at the bottom lip, begging him for entrance. Their tongues battling in a war of love. Wet, hot, and insatiable.   
Jensen finally breaks the kiss.  “You have no idea what you do to me.” he breathes into Jared’s skin , letting his hands wander over Jared’s visibly aroused body,  until he finally steps back and turns himself toward the shower. Jared tries to catch his breath, his body screaming for Jensen’s fingers.   
He palms his hard dick when Jensen suddenly lets out a scream, followed by a swear like a trooper.   
“ What the fuck is wrong with this water?”   
Jared bites on his inner cheek, placing a serious look on his face while looking at Jensen behind the shower curtain.   
“The object of a surprise is that you don’t know what it is”   
The shower gel bottle misses him just about an inch.   
  



	21. Chapter 21

[ ](https://ibb.co/C0SbKBY)

Chapter 21

Sweat is running down Jared's neck. His muscles feel sore and his calves are burning. Adrenaline is pumping in his veins, but he feels awesome. They have been cycling for the last two hours with only short stops to drink some water or to assure Jensen that his foot is okay. It was really a surprise when, after the delicious breakfast, Jensen guided them to the rental place to get two bicycles, some water bottles, and a light food package. Jensen turns out to be an excellent tour guide, showing him the highlights of the city he has only read about at home. They were passing souvenir shops and Buddhas, shining golden in the sun.

Finally they stopped beneath a huge stone stairway leading to a recreation area. A golden dragon with his long scaly tail wraps around the hand railing. On top of the stairs a huge open space extends outward. They take their time walking around. The whole place is covered with more Buddhas, laying, praying, or just smiling at the visitors. Believers praying to them, gifting flowers or sweets or even sugary drinks. Each of the figures represents a piece of life -some protect the days ,Jensen explains, some represent each symbol of the Chinese horoscopes.

They both continue to wander around the huge area and even though it was crowded, Jared feels peaceful. More than once he watches Jensen out of the corner of his eye, and blushes when Jensen looks back.

In the center of the ground was a human size tree, obviously fake, golden as the Buddhas with countless golden leafs on it. Getting closer to it Jared recognizes that every leaf was lettered .

He looks at Jensen with big, curious eyes. Jensen smiles and turns his attention to Jared, whose skin is glistening from the gold on the leaves reflecting on his body . „Well it’s kind of a wishing tree. You write down your wish on a leaf and affix it on the tree. If it stays there and does not falls down , your wish may come true.“ Jared keeps looking at the tree till he notices that Jensen is still looking at him . When their eyes finally meet, no one speaks. Their hands find each other.

They stand there, in the midsun, surrounded by tourists and vendors. But it was as everything just faded away. It was just them. And again, the warm feeling in Jared’s body seems to spread everywhere. He leans in for a kiss, sweet and soft. „Thank you for everything.“ he chews on his bottom lip, watching Jensen’s eyes hungry and so intense in the sun.

„There is one more thing I want to show you.“ Jensen’s voice is soft, his words only for Jared. Like no one else is allowed to see him like this, so vulnerable. For Jared he doesn’t act, isn't playing the cool, unapproachable guy who has everything under control. Jared just looks at him and Jensen lets him see, his emerald eyes reflecting every feeling he has for the younger man.

They walk back to the bicycles in a quiet, but peaceful mood. Jensen directs them north out of the main city. Their surroundings become surprisingly green. They pass rice fields and small lakes. Water Buffalos standing in the wet fields, small birds surrounding them. Jared tries to take in this wonderful view. He stops a few times to takes pictures and there is a smile on his face, that just won't stop. All of this feels so good. The sun, the view, the power in his muscles. As if every weight is lifted up from him. It takes another hour till Jensen turns around a corner to a small path that leads to the ocean. They secure their bikes and step between palms and huge trees till they reach a really small, natural beach. They take off their shoes and socks and enjoy the refreshing feeling when their feet finally dip in the ocean. It was beautiful and Jared just closes his eyes breathes deeply of the salty air.

He feels arms wrap around his waist and when he opens his eyes, Jensen is smiling at him.

„Enjoy your day?“

„Every second. This is exactly what I needed, thank you for showing me this.“ „Actually, that wasn’t what I wanna show you.“ Jensen steps closer to Jared, his hands still on Jared’s hips. He smiles with his whole face , tiny wrinkles creasing around his eyes and his tongue is caught between his teeth. Jared feels Jensen’s excitement, mixed with a hint of nervousness, and he looks at him with a question in his eyes when he recognizes that Jensen is looking over Jared's shoulder at something behind him. Slowly Jared turns around try to find out what Jensen sees when he freezes. He is overwhelmed and speechless by the sight. Not more than one yard in the distance, a Temple is standing on the shore.

It’s like a fairytale coming true. Jared can’t remember seeing something this incredible in his whole life . He turns back to Jensen and his watering eyes let him know that this surprise was a success. They slowly start walking towards the wooden wonder. Getting closer, Jared lets the view sink in. The whole building is made of dark teak wood. There are amazingly detailed figures, like everywhere. Wooden figures , carved animals ,spiritual symbols, his eyes get lost in the details. He squeezes Jensen’s hand and he feels like a small child , tasting ice cream for the first time . Reverential, they enter the building and Jensen pays a small fee at the entrance.

The tour guide start to inform them that they will close in a few minutes, but suddenly he looks at both of them, smiles, and with a „take your time guys“ he leads them inside. And Jared loses his sense of time . He wants to remember every detail, every carving, every story this building has to tell. They wander through the aisles filled with lights. The slowly setting sun fills the halls in a golden red aura. „This is so incredible“ Jared barely whispers. Jensen is quiet and when he finally finds his voice it is deep and warm like a smooth Whiskey. „This Wonder is called the `Sancutary of Truth´. The vision was, to create a place where your past, you present, and your future come together like a circle of life. The builders believe in the message that everything is transient like memories, possessions, or delights, but everything in life is dependent on seven essential prerequisites: Mother, Father, Heaven, Earth, Sun, Moon, and the Stars.“ While Jensen explains, they keep walking down the main aisle that in the end will lead them to a balcony.

„The builders had a fundamental idea. They combined different symbols and methods. You see Buddhistic, Hinduism, and Christian Symbols. In their Vision, everyone is equal and we all are the same. It is possible to life together in peace , whoever you are , whatever you believe or who you love ..“ They reach the end of the aisle and step outside onto the balcony. The sun is low, painting the horizon a fiery red. The two men stood there in silence, watching the sun sinking into the ocean. Jared feels Jensen’s palm in the small of his back. Sanctuary of truth…

„I Heard you Talking to JD.” Everything that was holding him back suddenly is gone and Jared just needs to keep on talking “Heard you tell him that .. that this between us will never work.“ Jensen’s jaw clenches but he stays silent. His eyes focus on the waves. „I … I just turned and ran.. I .. know, I’m sorry, I know this was stupid . I mean of course this don’t work you .. here … I am just a Tourist .. I should have known this but.. it hurts .. I ..m not proud of what I did, getting drunk like a 16 year old freshman… I don’t know what happened next, it’s all so blurry . I remember a voice .. someone holding me and .. they want to .. eventually I puked on them . Yeah not so worth remembering. In the end I freed myself and ran , winding up on the beach feeling like the stupidest piece of crap in the universe.“

Jensen is still watching over the ocean . There is no visible movement in his face, but his fingers grip the handrail of the balcony so tight that his knuckles went white. „Say something please.“ Jared's plea is a whisper. Slowly, Jensen moves. His hand wipes over his mouth. When he turns to Jared , the boy is shocked by the look in Jensen eyes. A mixture of determination, sadness, and something more. „I wish you had stayed. I wish you had heard what I said after you left, instead of believing that I don’t care for you. Because none of that is true. It’s the opposite. I fear how deeply I feel for you. I fear that a boy I just met days ago set feelings free I never thought I would feel again. And it scares me, Jared! I It scares the hell out of me. The idea of letting anyone close to me again is terrifying me. But .. the truth .. the truth is .. that waking up next to you .. is the best I felt for a long time . The truth is .. I fell for you Jared.“ Jensen’s voice is shaky and broken. Jared’s mouth is dry , his heart beating fast, and he just now recognizes the tears on his cheeks. There are so many things he wants to tell Jensen. So much he wants to say back. He promised himself that he will never again deny his feelings. He close the distance between them.

His fingers wandering over Jensen's collarbone. „It’s ok. You, me .. it’s ok. I .. fell for you too. And everything else , doesn’t matter.“ „how can you say that, there is nothing I can give you, there is nothing…“ A finger is placed on Jensen’s lips to silence him. „I want you. Only you. Can you give me that?“ „I was yours from the first moment I saw you.“ Jensen whispers against Jared's finger. „Then you give me everything.“ The kiss they share seems to never end.

On a golden tree, surrounded by friendly smiling Buddhas , a new leaf was secretly placed from a young man, wishing that he will be brave enough to tell the love of his life what he feels. It is still there.


End file.
